Ask HN: How Do You Relax?
Bit of a different question than most of what usually gets discussed on HN, but I find myself occupied with work a lot and while I enjoy it a lot, it's draining.
On top of that, I have ADHD, which makes it more difficult for me to really relax.
What do you do for relaxation? I walk to the park during slow hours, sit on a bench, wait for a bunch of sparrows to come, and then I give them some sunflower seeds. Sometimes -but not often- a magpie will approach too. You have to be quiet for birds to come near and fairly calm for them to approach you at all. Others can only be spotted from a distance. Wagtails are quite timid but can be seen running around sometimes, and the blackbirds can be heard a lot even if you don't see them. I've also spotted a couple of woodpeckers. And once the park fell suddenly still and I looked up and there was a kite passing by (they have been spotted nesting in a much larger park a couple of miles away). If the park is busy, then I'll watch the dogs, people going by. I ponder about the futility of life. Just sit there silently, doing nothing. This sounds lovely! This definitely sounds like the kind of thing that would really work well to let all the stresses of the everyday wash off! It reminds me a lot of the YouTube channel "life in jars", he normally makes videos about microbiology and freshwater ecology in... jars! But on top of that he also had a short series on gaining the trust of and befriending crows in his city. Good incentive for me to try this out! - Programming and/or documenting personal projects - Tabletop games, though probably 90% of this means either tinkering with games (as opposed to playing them, e.g. creating inserts or new pieces for them) and/or hanging out on BoardGameGeek dot com. - Reading, mostly anthologies of fiction from Wildside Press which collect many works from the early/mid 20th century, purchasable DRM-free for $1-2 each (for anywhere from 300 to 1500 pages). (Not associated with them, but am a long-time happy customer.) > hanging out on BoardGameGeek dot com What does this entail? My job is social and deadline driven. Here's what works for me: Lifting some weights in a deserted gym - no music or people. Stretching for 20 minutes before bed each day. Getting a full night's sleep. Going to a favourite restaurant once or twice a week. The rest of the time a simple, high fibre diet with lots of water, no alcohol, cigarettes or drugs. Doing a part-time postgraduate course to boost some depth and variety to the often-times surface-level demands of work work. I go watch trains. I often wander around while I'm waiting for a train to show up. I think about things, pray, look around. Sometimes I bring a book to read. I play ultimate frisbee. The read-and-react way you play that game was a nice reset from the push-my-brain-through-concrete-walls character of my work. Before I retired, I started taking smoke breaks at work. I don't smoke, but if smokers can go outside for 15 minutes, so could I. When i feel i need to totally turn off, I'll turn on a podcast of something im somewhat interested in, and play a game that commands just a slight amount of attention, and pay a slight amount of attention to both things. Exercise, travel - including “nomading”, learning Spanish, hanging out with my wife and friends - anything not involving computers. Hobbies basically. Something that requires focus but that's completely different from what you do at your job. I've worked in front of screens for most of my working life and a few years ago I wanted to try something manual. I ended up learning how to make shoes! Never in a million years would a younger version of me see himself learning to make shoes, but that's what I did. Eventhough it was challenging, it was oddly relaxing to be doing something away from screens and spreadsheets. Sometimes you just need a little change of environment. Try to actively relax, not passively. Go for walks, socialize, do hobbies. Don't get sucked into to algorithms, it will fry your brain and you will never have time to rejuvenate. Baths/Sauna/Sports also work, do something that genuinely refreshes you. The mind/body is an ecosystem, not a linear battery. Go outside and spend time with animals. I find watching and interacting with animals brings me back down to Earth. If I could talk to them I know all of the things I worry about would seem so strange to them. They just live in the moment and when I'm with them I live in the moment through them. Other things I do I find my mind is still in worry mode – walking, reading, cooking, sleeping, etc. Something about observing animals, thinking about what they're thinking and interacting with them turns that off for me. It's temporary, but it's nice. I used to run long distance, no music, no headphones, no trackers, no watch. Let your mind drift, or focus on the rest of the course. Or go swimming and count laps. Or go bouldering (in doors), pick a route and focus on it. Force yourself to take time off work. You are human after all. Don’t feel guilty about sitting and doing nothing. Relaxation takes some time to set in, tell yourself you are just out of practice. The constantly online/being available culture we have isn’t sustainable. In weekdays, laying on the couch after eating a healthy and tasteful dinner after an intensive strength training session at the gym.
Weekends usually allow more freedom and I have more cognitive energy available too, so besides "usual" weekend activities I work on some side projects while discovering cool ambient music or study some interesting topics (usually CS). Assuming you work from home, if not doing already, separate your workspace from living area. Do not sit with your laptop on the couch. Just listening to your own breathing pattern itself is one simple technique to reduce stress and relax. Then, you can definitely follow all the other suggestions in this thread. Hiking through the woods, mountain-biking through the back country.
Soaking in the bathtub reading books or short stories. Have you tried shotgunning a couple beers? Nice try, Mr. Secretary. I play airsfot every Sunday it's the perfect reset. Equal parts sport, adrenaline, and pain from getting hit by those little plastic balls. But honestly, there's so much laughter that you forget the bruises. Highly recommend if you've never tried it. Also, surfing. Nothing clears your head quite like getting tossed around by the ocean. This is true. I was in the ocean this past weekend for the first time in almost a year and though the water was cold, the 20 minutes or so I was in there felt like an eternity and left me feeling much better. I like running, it's the thing that makes me feel the most "right". Chess with my kids. It's good for spending time with them and helps with strategic thinking in a dynamic environment. My oldest regularly beats me. :D Reading hacker news and playing civilization. Then a long walk. It might sound strange, but the best relaxing time for me is that sometimes I go to the office on Saturday or Sunday, turn off email and phone and write a blog post or make a short video about our product. This reply belongs on /r/LinkedInLunatics I don’t understand why, some people have fun doing their job and feel joy when blogging about products they create and believe in, for me it’s a hubby. Wish you joy and happiness in your live. How about meditation? It's worth to try. You can use guide videos on Youtube or app such as Calm and Headspace. * walk around my various fruit trees * converse with my cat and dogs * play games * refactor personal code