Zuck#: A programming language for connecting the world. And harvesting it
jayzalowitz.github.ioI’d be interested to see a satirical concept like this that goes more in depth by, say, having the operational semantics help fuel the satire. When I see things like this, I always feel underwhelmed when it’s just a keyword swap.
For example, take the title. Imagine if the PL was a declarative way of describing a distributed system, with HTTP endpoints or web sockets connecting modules. Then, for harvesting, it gives unbounded ability for nodes to read and write to other nodes outside of the standard interface. You can just go in and read/write their data, without any public interface needed. Of course someone else can probably come up with something better, but I think it’d be cool to see something that more fully uses what a “programming language” means.
Im the author. Feel free to dm me anything you want added.
I don't think I've seen satire in the form of a programming language before :). Neat. Does anyone else have any other examples? All I can think of are languages like Velado (uses notes) and Piet.
Some well-known satire/parody languages are Omgrofl, Shakespeare, ArnoldC, but there're many more. Can check https://esolangs.org/wiki/Category:Thematic & https://esolangs.org/wiki/Category:Joke_languages. But although weird esolangs, don't see how Velda and Piet be considered satire.
I would say these are just joke languages that aren't trying to parody anything or use satire.
When I think of parody or satire in programming languages, the example that comes to mind is the "C plus equality" project used for rather trolling critique of contemporary "social justice" ideology.
Parody definition is humorous imitation so the ones I mentioned definitely are. Omgrofl (and similar LOLCODE) can be argued is also satire in regards to adoption of internet slang/memes in formal environments and chasing trends in programming/engineering design. The other two agree they aren't. But to me seemed, considering submitted language and their own examples, GP was asking for parody/thematic languages, which is why included those. The wiki links weren't meant to say joke/thematic == satire/parody. It's just that the wiki lacks explicit "parody" and "satire" categories, instead listing any relevant to those topics under the two given ones.
Fair enough.
INTERCAL was also a satire of the programming languages of its era, AFAIK.
Does Rockstar count? https://codewithrockstar.com/
These are the types of projects that are becoming viable with AI. Previously they were too expensive.
I love this.
It isn't a programming language. It is a static site written by AI, with jokes written by AI. Tastes like microwaved steak & it definitely would not have been too expensive to do before AI.
No, actually Zuck# works, this is a working language.
Many types of projects are now vibable.
There's TrumpScript.
It's designed completely wrong.
Trump programs would end with "Thank you for your attention to this matter."
The project dates to the 2016 election campaign and was archived in 2020. I don't think Trump had that particular speech affect that time around, or at least I can't recall it being memed upon the way it is now.
I mean theoretically brainf*ck is, but I'm pretty if you were to find satirical programming languages they would be satirizing development itself or a type of development (object-oriented, functional), and this is satirizing a purpose of development.
Previously https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14135045
(It's not enough to copy Snapchat - probably severely financially hurting them, by stealing their Prior Art - you have to do things like https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2019/09/snapchat-reporte... as well, and just remember: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1692122)
I still don’t really get the point. If the joke works without being a programming language, why make it one? We already have plenty of real languages people don’t want to learn or maintain — adding a satirical one feels more like a novelty than a statement.
Hey yall, author here.
This was made by claude code as a demo to someone, and because I thought it would be funny.
It actually works have a look: https://github.com/jayzalowitz/zucksharp
Flagged: code and prose written by an LLM, and uncanny-valley as a result - a few examples:
- the programming language part is dropped almost immediately by the LLM.
- The unrelated meat emojis to give it an animated background
- Painfully generic / not attempting to make a joke: "This language finally lets me express my true feelings about variable assignment."
- Every section has exactly the "right" length, ~3-5 items per list, ~2-3 paragraphs per section.
Hate to eat downvotes for saying this, I hate what FB / Zuck too and understand the impulse to treat it as unneeded negativity.
However, I've been on HN for 16 years, and can't remember a time I've seen a human-generated surface-level satire persist in the top posts. Seems to me the length and subject let the slop skate, at least so far.
Smoked meat is not at all random here. Google "Zuckerberg sweet baby rays". This is the deep Facebook lore.
Hi author here: 100% smoked meats floating around was out of my head and not the ai.
Have you never seen the Zuckerberg “in my backyard smoking meats with the boys” video? It’s so uncomfortable.
The meat emojis are relevant
Probably not related but source of page is also funny: '<section class="section">'
It's written by AI, I strongly believe (ex. the random konami code)
Am author: This is accurate.
should probably have id="section" too, then you don't need to do all that hard work remembering if you should write section, #section, or .section in your code
A rare example of language implemented atop PHP. Should've made with Llama for extra Meta points.
Or atleast should have been Hack
> Requires PHP 8.1+
... any other version will break it. RIP SW engineering.
I guess this has become a mantra: "Going forward is a way to retreat. " TTOP
why?
Author here:
Yeah actually, I wanted to demonstrate claude code, and my relatively complicated process for developement to someone, so I made a programming language to show them.
I actually met mark when we were both mentoring the fwd.us hackathon, from that limited interaction, I do think hed probably get a reasonable chuckle out of this.
Satire maybe.
to move fast and break things, it's right there!
cause.