The central question to my life

It honestly sounds like OP got the answer to her question but refuses to accept it. I guess there's also Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome, but there's not a lot of research into how it differs from just inattentive ADHD and no real effort has been made towards finding treatment besides stimulants and atomoxetine, so she might as well go with ADHD as the answer. That's the answer she's been given twice by professionals but rejects it, and she rejects even trying the treatment for some reason.