Ask HN: Do Fellow women/non-males of HN feel the need to dumb themselves down?
I have been noticing some women dumb themselves down if that makes sense to not offend male colleagues in the work place. Have you witnessed this behavior? The smartest developers and managers I've ever worked with are women. If someone is offended by being wrong or not being pandered to, this is not on you. I think the problems around this are firmly on the men and the culture that makes it untoward for them to listen and communicate effectively around or despite their emotions. As a man, I can attest that I struggle sometimes with my ego around being wrong but facts are facts. When I'm wrong, I hope that I handle it in a way that doesn't make people feel they can't show me I'm wrong or that they have to wrongly agree with me or play dumb. Please don't. To me it feels like the best way to get this to stop is to just stop doing it. I know it's easy for me to say. Of course, assess the risks - maybe you have to back out of the persona slowly, but please do. We all gain from being genuine. I reject the premise. Men and women have egos. Men and women overexplain and fail to listen when somebody says “yeah, I’m well aware of the basics, let’s talk specifics”. Not just a female thing. One strategy to survive/climb in corporate wonderland is to not to be viewed as a threat by anyone. climbing, in my experiences seems to universally require, not only being non threatening but of vital service in a way that allows manipulation of a Machiavellian leverage. What would be an example of this? one example would be allowing males to explain trivial subjects and acting interested.