Ask HN: I get anxiety working with computers
So i find myself in this interesting situation after having struggled a few years where i've had a few stressful jobs (web developer) and rather demanding university studies.
I had some kind of burnout (or long covid, don't really know) last year and have been slowly recovering to the point that i can function again. But i still need to make money, as well as finish my university studies, but i find myself becoming very anxious in front of a computer.
So when i'm doing any sort of work (play is mostly ok if not for too long) in front of a screen i'll start tensing up my core and face muscles and stop breathing properly, which kind of puts me back in a non functioning state after a few hours and i'll need a day or two of not touching a computer to recover.
Has anyone been through this and know how to recover?
As for what i'm already doing to get back to normal: I eat super clean these days (anti inflammatory, keto as well as probiotics). I'm also in fairly good shape (cardio wise) and run or bike every day, do yoga and meditate every morning/night and spend as much time outdoors as i possibly can. I also sleep until i wake up by myself so i should get all the sleep i need i suppose.
I suppose therapy is one way, but i find myself barely making enough money to get by and the free healthcare i have access to don't really help much. Currently looking into reading some books on CBT hoping maybe that can help. Trying to add in extra mind-numbing aspects might help: noise through speakers, or using a treadmill while using the computer. - - - Using a pomodoro approach instead as exposure therapy might help, start in a safe range, X minutes of computer, YY minutes away from computer, slowly add to X when you can (and remember, if you need to reduce X, that's okay too, not a bad thing at all) - - - If you feel somewhat overwhelmed too, switching back to a text console might be an option, la installing Debian on a separate drive or the such without any graphics. - - - I'd note that a body being in ketosis is not its ideal state. If it works for you, then ignore this. But it can be something to look into moving away from as things steady out / to help things steady out. - - - I don't know anything though, so don't take these suggestions too seriously. Best of luck. The pomodoro approach seems like a step in the right direction. I'll try it out for sure!
I'm also considering moving to a low carb approach instead of keto. Only reason i stayed in ketosis for so long is it's actually quite pleasant and from what i can tell from studies it increases GABA in the brain which is a godsend when you're struggling emotionally.
Thanks for the suggestions fellow human. I had something similar and I visited a therapist who helped me see that I had created a narrative about certain locations, that they were making me anxious. I had to challenge this mildly delusional thinking while managing the anxiety using recommended practices from ACT therapy. Its almost like I needed permission to disregard certain thoughts as nonsense/narrative and also learn to struggle and fight less against uncomfortable feelings. Doing this ultimately makes them lose their power. If you were truly traumatized by previous computer use then a more appropriate strategy might be needed to combat the PTSD-like responses. Either way, I recommend seeing a professional. Alright i'll consider talking to someone. I think i might get access to a counselor through my uni. And when my economy gets better i can seek out a professional. Thanks for the advice, it's nice to know someone else went through something like this and made it through! By 'computers' I think you mean an 'Internet Connected' one? Because the Internet is designed to be adverse by its very nature IMHO. This is where heavy curation is needed and you should only pay attention to what interests you, not be lead down a spiral path by some recommendation algo or news aggregation site (looking at you HN). Yes, I know, this is a form of cognitive bias, but there's nothing inherently wrong with that. That can go wrong if you become tunnel vision on a subject to the detriment of other subjects though. It's about balance. No it's not about the internet for me, just the work aspects of sitting in front of a computer. But i will admit that all the remote work and studies did NOT help at all. I pretty sure that being starved of almost all (real) social interactions during that period contributed to this situation.