Ask HN: Earplugs as Powerful as Fingers?
Noise pollution is driving me to suicide. I tried all sorts of earplugs and earmuffs, but they don't do anything against dogs, loud music, bikes, etc. However, if I stick my little fingers in my ears they block almost everything.
If I understand correctly, common earplugs are only meant to dampen unsafe noise, while allowing you to listen to coworkers and safety notices. I don't need that. My safety priority is to reclaim a tiny corner where I'm in control.
Given that this place is full of tech nerds, I'm hoping that someone knows of something that can completely cancel noise on the level of a dog barking close by. Way back I used to live in an apartment with terrible noise from above at night. I got pretty sensitive to it over time, to the point I started drafting sketches and ideas for what essentially would have been a "soundproofed coffin". The concept eventually evolved into a helmet design. But I moved out to a quieter place before actually prototyping anything. I was similarly disappointed I couldn't find anything premade on the market. It terms of earplugs, I personally find the silicon ones worked best, shoved in tight enough to make a good seal. Sometimes I was able to cram into a contorted position with my arms holding memory foam pillows on top of my head that would further help dampen noise. Sorry to hear about your woes. It sucks. Hang in there and don't give up. If you're able to consider resituating, don't be afraid to make noise a priority factor for the new location - noise pollution often doesn't get the consideration and attention it deserves, and people who haven't gone through it don't always realize how it can impact your health and break down your mental fortitude. Finally, if you really are having suicidal thoughts please seek out professional help. Sending good karma your way; I hope you're able to reclaim a corner of control. Thanks. Unfortunately I've already moved once with noise as the priority and it didn't work out. About the silicon ones, were they the ones which are custom made? I use these kind [1][2] of silicone ear-plugs to sleep, although I buy them in local pharmacies. Last week there was a festival where I live, with loud music and DJs at least 4:00 am, and it damped the noise by a lot, enough to let me sleep. They are a bit uncomfortable to use at first, but I got used to them in 2/3 nights. [1] https://kathmandu.imgix.net/catalog/product/6/1/61247_earplu... [2] https://www.amazon.com/Reusable-Silicone-Earplugs-Reduction-... thanks I'm guessing it's something similar to these, they come in different brand names depending on which country you're in and I can highly recommend them, having tried many different earplugs myself. Much more effective than the foam types and almost as cheap: https://www.amazon.com/Macks-Pillow-Soft-Silicone-Earplugs/d... The silicone earplugs have a noise reduction rating (NRR) of 22dB. I use these, which have a NRR rating of 33dB: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0051U7W32 I don't like using them full size because they tend to make my ear sore when worn for long periods, so I cut about 1/4" off the smaller end. I wash mine when I take a shower, so this bottle of 50 pairs has lasted nearly 10 years. I have tinnitus caused by working in a computer room with loud blowers, and wearing ear plugs most of the time helps a lot. Good luck! Yep, those are the ones. I roll one into a ball then push it in. The silicone deforms to the shape of your [outer-ish] ear canal, and is a bit tacky which helps create a better seal and maintain it through the night. Cheap and worth a shot. thanks, this is a type I never tried before I've used standard foam earplugs to sleep in a place where deranged screaming and snoring loud enough to wake the dead is commonplace and I'm _very_ sensitive to noise. It's possible that you're inserting them incorrectly, most people do. Roll up the foam, insert while pulling your ear back (!). Hold it in while continuing to hold your ear back for 10-15 seconds, long enough for the foam to expand, and then release. This should result in at least as good of a block as you can get with your fingers. Note that there shouldn't be any foam protruding from your ear -- if your head on a pillow feels like it's pressing on the earplug, it's not in far enough. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the key understanding for me went even slightly further than that. I don't know exactly how safe it is either, but apparently you need to actually get the foam earplug somewhat into the outer ear canal itself if you really want to block out sound? Especially if you're not supposed to see the foam protruding from the ear, looking straight on. And not just smoosh it up enough around the outside of the opening as if it were a foam finger held in place by the ear's outer cartilagey bits. So far so good anyway. But make sure you can easily pull it out again in any case. I don't go around sticking Q-tips into my ear canals either, but at least I don't see a foam earplug being able to reach my eardrums. However, they could both push wax back further into the ear and potentially cause damage? May be a remote cause for concern anyway. I've also known about having to roll it and pull the ear back, but I still found it rather difficult. Maybe it's not the totally correct way, but I've found rolling it and then pinching the sides a bit allows me to get it in at just the right angle, maybe a bit like an arrow, instead of just bending the tip around outside. Took some experimenting. Are noise levels commonly associated with suicide? If the noise levels around you are those of a bike, a dog, or music, then that's far from loud. In contrast, have you ever visited a construction site? When you say that one of the things you've tried to stifle the noise is earmuffs, I wonder about the way you're approaching this problem. There exist so many noise-cancelling solutions out there, yet you choose to go with something warm over something effective. It makes me think about the cause of your suicideal ideation. Are your suicidal thoughts related at all to noise levels? You use the phrase, "tiny corner of control". What are the core beliefs underlying this wish to control a tiny corner of space? And why does that have to do with safety? Does control imply safety? In 12-step programs, we know that seeking control is what causes us to be sick. By seeking to control, we lose even more control of our lives. In your case, this dynamic plays out so that by trying to feel safe, you end up in a dangerous psychological spot. In fact, many schools of thought will say that the sense of control in life is an illusion. You can feel better and learn to live with the noise. Please consider consulting a registered mental health care professional. In the meantime, consider learning the serenity prayer. It will remind you that control is not necessary to lead a good life. Finally, seeking help from internet strangers is a mixed bag. You may end up soliciting uninformed opinions, such as, "this is not The Telltale Heart noise shouldn't make you feel bad". Good luck! Don't belittle a problem that you don't suffer, it is absolutely real, and yes, drives people to suicide. A similar problem is tinnitus -- not being able to stop noise is crippling and devastating. It's like belittling someone with arthritis, "hey, that's not really that heavy to lift, what's your problem, are you even trying ?" I can see how you have arrived at the conclusion that I am belittling a problem. Coping mechanisms are useful. In my experience, self-pity is a symptom of other maladaptive patterns. However, people are free to pick their poison, so for future reference, the OP can solicit only supportive comments by explicitly stating that comments like mine are unwelcome. Hope that helps. With all due respect, you immediately question that there is a problem. Why ? I take what OP says at face value, there's a problem, can any of us help. Who are you to judge what's loud for someone else ? Or cold, or hot, or anything else ? If that's how you reply to a plea for help and information, I'd suggest you don't reply at all. honestly, you are being very arrogant. Loudspeakers pumped out at 120db are far too loud. A dog barking at 100db is far too loud. A motorbike revving at 115db is far too loud. If it happens all fucking day, every fucking day, often for several hours without any pause, it is far too loud. Please stop propagating the myth that it's all in my mind. Would you say it to someone who is being gangraped? Noise pollution is gang rape. I can see how you would say that I'm propagating a myth that it's all in your mind. What I did not question was the existence of the noise. Like any health care professional would do, I was asking for an explanation between sound, control, safety, and suicide. Without more information, the conclusions seemed like a non-sequitur, much like how I would want to see how to connect the dots between noise pollution and gang-rape. Hope that helps. This is an improbable exaggeration pattern. A user exaggerates the description of their problem to induce others to understand their pain, then another user requests proof for the exaggeration. The outcome? A cycle of posts with new exaggerations and proof requests. Thanks for the sample, I'm building a social network with lower noise to signal ratio. Being aware of these social patterns allows filtering them. I am not asking for proof. A demonstration of proof is not a required part of HN discussion nor would I want it to be. I am asking for an explanation in the OP's reasoning because I'm interested in their patterns of thinking since I am genuinely trying to help this person cope. If your tolerance level for engaging with others stops at what you call exaggeration patterns, then you would certainly think things would be better off in a different kind of social network. Best of luck. This comes across as terribly misinformed and condescending at the same time. Try living with someone with autism if you think sensory overload (noise or otherwise) cannot or should not cause real problems for people. People are not wholly defined by their disabilities. In the case of someone with autism experiencing sensory overload, I expect them to build coping mechanisms because of their condition. Having a library of tools will improve their lives. If you're looking for temporary respite, I have some suggestions. In my area, sensory deprivation 'spas' are coming back, there's a (local?) chain called float that has been advertising. Recording studios are heavily sound isolated, and most cities have some. Sort of odd to book an hour and just sit, but maybe they've got some weird holes in their schedule. If either of those two work, and you have control over your living space, you could pursue home versions of that. A weekend trip to a nearby national park or the like can be pretty quiet. Personally, I live in a semi-rural area which reduces the human noises to mostly only my family. But there's still airplanes of all sizes flying overhead, and really loud vehicles far away, and ferry horns. My neighbor's dog sometimes gets in our yard and barks and I can hear our rooster and at least two neighbors (they crow all day, not just at sunrise). Then there's birds and coyotes and what not. Not entirely quiet but close. I have found that noise can "get to me" sometimes as well, and I recently tried Loops brand earplugs on a recommendation from a friend. I recommend them as they are comfortable, effective, and come with 5 sizes of tips to ensure you get a good fit. They also come in a tiny travel case that I keep on my car keys. https://us.loopearplugs.com/pages/quiz There are two dampening levels and I recommend you try the very quiet one, maybe purchase them through Amazon so that you can return them if they don't work for you. Additionally I haven't found any noticeable difference between the metal and plastic variants; the plastic ones are fine and a bit cheaper! Hope this helps. You can check out the noise cancelling headphones from Bose, or search up Ear Defenders on Amazon. I've heard good things about Bose headphones, and am looking into them myself because of my own sensory issues. Any foam earplugs with rating above 30dB will give you a bit of peace. For normal life when you want to hear things around you but less annoying get Etymotic ER20 musicians earplugs. If you want in-ear-monitors get Etymotic ER2SE or ER2XR. With Comply p100 eartips they will give you 35dB noise reduction easily and you can enjoy glorious sound quality. Comply p100 are also compatible with ER20 earplugs so these can be made more comfortable. Hang in there, there are solutions, you are not alone in this. I was surprised to find out that earplugs can be misused; maybe that is why fingers are more effective than plugs for you. You have to prepare the plugs by gently rolling them (with no wrinkles) into a thinner state so they expand in the ear to form a better seal. If self harm is a real option, seek help from a professional and/or move. Perhaps sleeping at a friend's house or going camping can provide some relief. Sorry you're going through this. I had to deal with construction 10 meters away from my window for a year and it is incredible how much it affects your mental state. My suggestions:
* Move somewhere quieter if you can and if there is no foreseeable end to the noise. * Practice techniques for calming yourself and accepting the noise. * Put earplugs in and then play loud music/audio through over the ear headphones. My wife snores very loudly. Even with my loud tinnitus, the 32db NRR earplugs sometimes are not enough to block out her snoring. I have found that if I wear Bose QC-35 ANC headphones and play pink noise over them at maximum volume, and wear those over the 32db NRR earplugs, that usually drowns out the sound of her snoring and I can get to sleep at night. I specifically choose the Bose QC-35 headphones because they are my gold standard for comfort, and they have good enough ANC, even though they are no longer the best in the business on that end. I can't offer a solution, but I have over-the-head ear muffs made for construction sites, the strongest I could find and buy for moments where I can't take it anymore. They help somewhat. The only actual solution is to get away from the noise -- I know all too well this is impossible most of the time and most people don't even get the problem. I have achieved high levels of noise cancellation by combining over-ear noise-cancelling headphones with earplugs. In particular, I used Beyerdynmic DT 770 M headphones, which already have a high level of sound dampening.
Obviously, this is a solution for a few hours of working, not for sleep.
