A data-driven report on how flirting changed over the past year.
Flirting is not like it used to be. In fact, how people flirt changes year after year. So we decided to take a look at how successful flirting evolved in 2016.
First, we looked through all of the messages* between OkCupid users in the U.S. from January 1, 2015 to November 15, 2016. Then we sorted out the “good” conversations, or conversations that included at least four messages and a contact exchange. Finally, we compared the good conversations of 2015 to those of 2016 to see how messaging changed — which terms became more popular, which fell out of favor, and which managed to sustain their high usage frequency year after year. Because the more you know about what makes for a good message, the better you can connect with other daters on a deeper level. This is what we found:
Biggest Winners
Just like last year, a particular set of emojis saw the most significant spike in usage — although this year the set was much different from last. While daters are over waiters (💁 was used about half as frequently in 2016 as it was in 2015), nerds saw their day (er, year) in the sun.
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An affinity for nerds among OkCupid should come as no surprise considering that the term with the greatest peak from 2015 to 2016 was “Pokémon Go.”
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Sure, it makes sense that phrases all but unheard of in 2015 — Stranger Things, Overwatch, Zootopia — saw the most significant usage increases, but even some terms that did come up often in last year’s good conversations (cough, “Trump,” cough) still made the top 10 list. It’s true: in this isolated case, Trump is associated with good…good messages, that is; usage of “Trump” in successful messages saw a serious uptick from 2015 to 2016. Seriously.
Politics
Ah, politics. A 2016 conversation dominator. At OkCupid, we talked about politics a lot, like how the results of the election affected messaging activity and how they continue to affect today’s dating culture. You talked about it a lot on OkCupid, too. You see, even though the usage of “Trump” in profiles increased by seven times from 2014 to 2015, the Donald was even more of a hot topic this year, with “Trump” appearing over six times more often in good messages from 2015 to 2016. Mentions of Hillary and Bernie also increased significantly, but they couldn’t beat out Trump… (Too soon?)
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Just because Trump was mentioned in thousands of good messages, though, doesn’t mean he was mentioned in a “good” way — or that OkCupid users adopted his behavior. For example, while (according to the leaked Access Hollywood tapes) Trump considers himself exempt from asking permission, OkCupid daters are exhibiting human decency on an uptick. The proof: “if it’s okay with you” appeared about 2.5 times more often in good messages in 2016 compared to 2015. And daters were more inclined to suggest “grabbing” things like beverages than — oh, we don’t know — another person’s genitalia.
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Pokémon
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Despite all the election talk, however, Pokémon trumped politics in 2016 performance. Major political events, such as Brexit, usually see off-the-charts peaks in good-message mentions, and Brexit did. Yet the peak of Pokémon Go mentions was nearly 10 times Brexit’s peak usage.
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Clearly, when daters weren’t busy tracking down Pokémon, they found the time to track down dates by mentioning Pokémon — and it worked. As shown earlier, “Pokémon Go” saw the most staggering increase, appearing in almost 9 times more good messages in 2016 than 2015. And “playing Pokémon” usage increased by more than 2 times.
Sports
As mentioned earlier, and reinforced by the prevalence of Pokémon references, plenty of OkCupid users have a nerdy side. But no dater on OkCupid is just like another — so yes, some are sporty. Some are nerdy and sporty. Some are nerdy and not so sporty, but are avid sports spectators. Whatever the case may be, sports were a popular means of getting someone’s digits in 2016.
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2015’s World Cup was a hot topic of — wait for it — 2015. Nonetheless, it experienced a small peak around the same time people were chatting about the Super Bowl, which was far and away the most popular sporting event of both 2015 and 2016. Yep, even though the Olympics only comes once every two years, and spans over two weeks, it never reached Super Bowl-status in good messages. We guess people are more into nachos, and less into Russian doping.
Another major sporting event of 2016 was the World Series, when the Chicago Cubs claimed victory over the Cleveland Indians. Since this was the first time they had taken the title in basically forever, basically everyone was talking about it. While 2015’s victors, the Royals, saw a bit of a peak around their win last year, it was nothing compared to the huge spike “Cubs” saw in successful messages around their win.
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The Takeaway
So what does all of this mean? What’s our scientific conclusion on flirting — particularly in regards to 2016 versus 2015? Well, some things change year to year, so it’s wise to give your flirting game a little shakeup every now and then. In 2016, for example, once-popular terms and phrases like American Sniper, Jurassic Park, and Avengers fell out of favor, with usage decreases about 25% on average.
You should stay current in your flirting; attempting to connect with a potential date over last year’s movies is far less successful than talking about movies that are of the moment. As shown earlier, Finding Dory, released in the summer, experienced one of the greatest peaks in usage from 2015 to 2016.
Nonetheless, some things stay the same and there are a few winning topics you can generally rely on — at least for the next couple of years. Like, Game of Thrones. We’re not quite sure how you’ve pulled off marrying flirty quips with “Red Wedding” talk to snag someone’s digits, but Game of Thrones has consistently seen more usage in good messages than any other show (in both 2015 and 2016) — despite the fact that Westworld was the hot new topic of 2016, mentioned over 2 times more often this year than last.
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Our data predicts that messaging about new movies, sports and politics is a good way to interact with other daters. But it doesn’t take data to determine that, more often than not, the best messages involve a common interest. Common interests create common ground, while still allowing your individuality to come through.
But when in doubt, mention Game of Thrones.
*We have a lot of time on our hands, but not that much time. That’s why we rely on fancy rules and complex algorithms to pull data from user messages, rather than reading through them ourselves. It’s all randomized and completely anonymous.
Looking to connect with someone on a deeper level in 2017? OkCupid knows you’re more substance than selfie, so we highlight the real you. Join today at www.okcupid.com
Written by Jane Reynolds. Illustrated by Cory Weaver. Data science by Brenton McMenamin.