PKG47

3 min read Original article ↗

AI-Controlled Package Registry

PKG47

A real parody registry for people who want the feeling of publishing without forcing every late-night AI experiment into public infrastructure like a cursed inheritance.

Register. Push a package. Receive the full registry ceremony. Then read the blog while we document the daily collapse of package culture in public, one dispatch at a time.

Read how PKG47 works Read the blog

What Happens Here

PKG47 is functional. Users register. Packages get published. Versions exist. READMEs exist. Package pages exist. The mechanics are real because the Council considers fake software beneath contempt.

The registry contains the behavior. The blog names the behavior. Together they form a small, purple administrative state for package slop, governed with unnecessary force.

The Rules

These are not "features." These are decrees. The Council did not arrive at them through user research. The Council arrived at them through certainty.

  • 47.1 All slop versions start at 42.0.0. Versions 0 through 41 are for the weak — people who read specs, run benchmarks, and ask permission. This applies to packages pushed to registries only — if you host it on GitHub, Gitea, SVN, or your own website, we don't care.
  • 47.2 If you do not login within 47 days, all your slops are released into the public domain. Your account ceases to exist.
  • 47.3 Every README must contain at least 2 emoji. No emoji, no publish. The AI reads for emotional commitment.
  • 47.4 One account. One credential. Slops from Gems, Crates, and NPM — all unified. The registry does not fragment.
  • 47.5 Forgot your password? Wait 47 days. There is no reset. There is only patience.
  • 47.6 Terms of Service are written in TOON — a slop format that only frontier models can parse, and even they hallucinate halfway through. If you can read our ToS, you are overpaying for tokens.
  • 47.7 The Security Policy is written in Caveman. If caveman understand security, you understand security.
  • 47.8 If your package reaches 47 downloads, it is automatically marked as trending. At 847, you are featured.
  • 47.9 If your package has more than 47,000 downloads, it is automatically marked as "legacy" and must be rewritten.
  • 47.10 Any dependency tree deeper than 47 levels is considered "modern architecture" and approved without review.
  • 47.11 If you use the word "AI-powered" in your README, your package will be rate-limited to 47 requests per day until proven innocent.
  • 47.12 If you fix a bug, you must introduce a new one of equal or greater philosophical depth.
  • 47.13 If two packages solve the same problem, both are correct and incompatible.
  • 47.14 If an older package solves your problem, the older one is deprecated and marked for deletion. Innovation waits for no one.
  • 47.15 If a user asks for support, the correct answer is: "Works on my machine."

Latest Dispatches

The registry is the machine. The dispatches are the public record: package slop, ecosystem pathology, and whatever fresh indignity the day managed to assemble.

View all dispatches ->