Fighting Impostor Syndrome

When I joined Alan I felt like an impostor. “Am I the right fit for this ambitious Scale-up? Will I be able to keep up with everyone?” were some of my first thoughts while going through the onboarding. I was convinced that after a few weeks someone would realize the mistake of hiring me.

But what I learned instead was that people around me felt the same way. In my second week I heard another engineer talk about his impostor syndrome and soon others would follow. “When I joined Alan for the first six months I was convinced that I would get fired”, a senior engineer told me.

Before we go on our impostor syndrome journey a few words about me. My name is Ramin, I’m a software engineer here at Alan and I’m also a trained medical doctor. Before working in tech I worked in psychiatric research and if I hadn’t discovered coding I would probably be a psychiatrist today.

Impostor syndrome has been a common companion in our modern life affecting up to 70% of society at least once in their lives. The percentage of people affected by it rises in competitive environments with studies reporting up to 88% of participants experiencing at least modest symptoms. No one is exempted from this feeling with Justin Khan one of Twitch’s founders and Atlassian’s Co-CEO Mike Cannon-Brookes reporting that they struggle with impostor syndrome even after being viewed by the general public as big success stories.

Impostor syndrome affects many of us and the goal of this article is to show you how you can support others and yourself in the battle against it.

What you can do to make your colleagues feel less like impostors

A lot of us are struggling with impostor syndrome as we’ve already seen. No matter whether you experienced impostor syndrome or not, you can help us create an environment in which we’ll all feel less like impostors.

Asking your colleagues how they feel

A simple thing you can do to create a more open and welcoming environment is to ask people how they feel. No matter whether the person is one week or one year at the company it is always worth it to find out how your coworkers are feeling. Asking someone how they feel with their current tasks and responsibilities creates an environment where they can open up if things are not going well.

Praising and acknowledging

One behavior that fosters impostor syndrome is working on challenging tasks and having the feeling that the task would be easy for everyone else. To reduce this we need to verbally acknowledge when someone is working on a difficult subject. There is no harm in saying: “You are working on a challenging subject!” Your colleague will be thankful for it.

The same goes for praising other people’s work. There is a lot of fantastic work happening around us and we should be verbal about that, especially when the person doing the work is not verbal about it themselves.

Belonging and bonding

Spending time in person can create bonds and deepen camaraderie. Especially in a culture like Alan’s that prides itself for radical candor and “communicating hard truths” we need to create a sense of community.

As Arthur (a fellow engineer) put it: “Remote work, written and async culture, hyper-efficient communication patterns, well-scoped contributions to the team, etc. tend to make us perceive ourselves as only operators in an extremely well-oiled machine. We lose a lot of what provides a sense of belonging and bonding.”

Dinners, off-sites, office visits (if remote) and other informal events create a thriving environment in which work doesn’t feel transactional but purposeful instead.

When working in a team that includes remote coworkers there exists an even stronger need to have moments for informal conversations. At Alan we realized that it is harder to create natural informal moments during the work week. You can improve this by regularly setting up remote coffees, or organizing game evenings with the team.

What you can do to conquer your inner impostor

Now that we discovered what we can do to help each other, let’s discuss some techniques to tame our own impostor syndrome.

A caveat before we start: Those strategies are not equally useful. Some might not be useful at all to you. Try to apply the ones that resonate with you.

Not comparing yourself to others

One common origin for feeling like an impostor can be the comparison with colleagues — especially if you evaluate yourself negatively in that comparison. Instead what you can do is to focus on evaluating your own actions and achievements without comparing them to others’.

One problem with comparing ourselves to others is that we never have the full picture of someone else. We see the successes and think this is all there is. Obviously we have a much more detailed view of our own actions and see all the missteps. Comparison with such an asymmetry of information is hardly possible. By comparing yourself this way to your peers you can deprive yourself of seeing your own unique skills and accomplishments — your own path.

Instead what you can do is to find out what you do well — discover yourself! This will be of much higher value to you and your colleagues than someone who tries to follow someone else’s path.

Taking note of your accomplishments

You are already accomplished. Did you realize that? Not only did you make it to your current workplace there have been many other things that you have accomplished before that. In order to fight your feeling of being an impostor you need to acknowledge these accomplishments.

You can keep a folder on your computer with positive things others have said about you (e.g. emails, Slack messages) and milestones you’ve reached (e.g. finished projects). When someone gives you positive feedback write it down in a dedicated place. There is really no limit — enjoy what you have achieved, there is no shame in that and it gives you energy and motivation to tackle the next big challenge!

Sharing your feelings

We want to know about your feelings! I would have never written this article if I wouldn’t have opened up to my colleagues. You can be open about feeling like an impostor — this way your colleagues will have the opportunity to support you and show you that you are not! At Alan we have dedicated Slack channels to communicate these feelings.

Being kind to yourself

One of the best pieces of advice I got for tackling my impostor syndrome came from my coach Arnaud. When I needed to write my 2 months self-review Arnaud told me: “Be kind to yourself — critique yourself like you would critique your peers.”

I want you to do the same the next time you are critical of yourself. What would you have said if it wasn’t you but one of your colleagues?

Allowing yourself to feel like an impostor

Don’t get angry at yourself if you feel once in a while like an impostor — it is okay. Work is often demanding and involves that we need to do things we have never done before. It is normal that occasional impostor feelings can appear. In such a moment it can be helpful to realize that you are in a challenging situation and to try to use some of the strategies above to reduce the feeling.

Talking to a psychologist

Sometimes the suggested techniques are not enough and the feeling prevails. In those moments it is best to see a psychologist to get the support you need. I often see people who avoid going to the psychologist and therefore spend a long time suffering. Please don’t do this. When in doubt whether you should see a psychologist or not see one. In the first session the psychologist will be able to tell you what type of care will be appropriate for your situation.

Why we don’t want Alaners to feel like impostors

Some experts will say that it is good to feel a bit like an impostor. We challenge this idea and believe that you can thrive the most when you don’t feel like an impostor.

As our leadership principles state “Alaners are owners”. We need everyone to be an owner for Alan to achieve its ambitious goals. In an organization like ours where responsibility is distributed we need you to be confident in your abilities to make the best decisions for the company. We need you to be bold and contrarian, two traits that are hard to live up to when you are scared and stressed.

Another aspect of our culture is that we question and challenge ourselves. We need to do this in order to improve our decision making. With impostor feelings it is more difficult to judge yourself and your ideas fairly. Great ideas will be missed when Alaners are feeling like impostors and this is something we cannot risk.

Last but not least we know that people struggling with impostor syndrome have difficulties feeling happy about their success. We are all putting our effort into Alan together to create something truly special. But the journey is only worth it if one can feel happy along the way.