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Envy is probably as common in the technology sector as it is in any other. Recently, an engineer came up and said this to me: “Ali has been earning more than I, and I find this odd given we graduated in the same class and joined this company in the same year.” On another occasion, a second engineer told me: “A former classmate drives a new car every year, and recently bought a home as well. I like his life style. I should do more of what he does.” These comments reflect envy on the part of the engineers.
Envy is the wish to possess something that someone else has. If a close friend has bought a new car or a phone, I may want it, too. If a colleague gets a raise, I need that, too.
So why does envy happen? Well, it all starts with comparisons — i.e., when we start comparing what we have, or do not have, to what others have. Also, inherently we all like praise, and, when we see someone continuously getting it (since we normally congratulate people on acquiring whatever we think makes them happy), that likely creates a desire in us to do something similar to be similarly praised. The desire for accumulation, fame, honor or reputation may also trigger envy.
Whom do we get envious of? Usually, we get envious of people who are not far away in time, distance, reputation or relation [1]. I have not seen an engineer who is envious of another engineer who has passed away or located in another geographic region. Neither have I seen engineers who are envious of people in diametrically different occupations (e.g., sports), nor I have seen engineers envious of people far above (or below) in rank or reputation. (I find it interesting that although we do get envious of people close to us or near by in proximity, some of us, in most matters of life, don’t get envious of our parents, possibly because we’re often a direct or indirect beneficiary of their good fortune).
Envy is dangerous. It’s dangerous because when we’re envious we don’t really pay any attention to what is good or bad for us. Being envious could be an indication of a lack of self-reflection on our part. Our actions are blindly driven by what other people do, think or possess while ignoring the context and factors that govern the situation. So the first engineer who complained about his colleague’s raise ignored many things. The engineer who got the raise worked harder on learning different technologies and codebases and actually shipped more code, and, in turn, created more profit for the business. Essentially, the one who got the raise actually has a totally different work ethic than the one who was complaining about his lack of raise.
I also have practically observed the following scenario: If a person’s friend makes a lot of money in a business, then that person might look at his friend’s success and be tempted to start the same business on his own (especially if that person thinks his friend got the success and wealth quickly). In so doing, he loses focus on his current activities, and may become so entangled in envy that he doesn’t do basic number-crunching or any basic feasibility studies, or may ignore his current financial situation. He may even ignore whether this business falls within what investor Charlie Munger calls his circle of competence. Such endeavours usually don’t end up well.
Furthermore, envy makes us waste resources. If you really become envious, it has no end. Your friend buys a new car, you do that, too. He buys a new iPhone, you do that, too. The endless pursuit of acquiring what others have leads us to waste time, money, energy and other resources that might have other, more useful applications.
Being envious also means not being free. We become slaves to our surroundings and to what other people think. In that condition, we don’t exactly do what pleases us; instead, we mostly do what pleases others.
Moreover, envy perpetuates negativity and leaves us dissatisfied. When we are envious, our thoughts are occupied with comparisons. Dominant thoughts usually trigger actions and, if thoughts are occupied by mindless pursuits, then actions that follow cannot be beneficial. Detrimental actions result in disadvantageous outcomes, a continuous stream of which can leave us unhappy.
Further, a person is rendered ineffective in any role if he becomes preoccupied with analogies instead of focussing on the important issues at hand. For example, an envious business manager may become unproductive or demoralised, change jobs often, or place unnecessary bets, and all of these are harmful to him and his employers.
Envy can make us do odd things. I’ve been a victim of envy. (Probably we all have, particularly in our childhoods when we were envious of other kids’ toys.) It’s hard, but we should try to find out what our own goals are and not compare ourselves with those around us.
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