The buildings of our fathers

My grandfather has dementia.

Last week, he fell off his bed and broke two bones in his hip. He had emergency surgery. Surgery was successful and he was on pace to be released from the health center just a few days ago.

Sunday morning, he fell again on his right hip, sending him back to the health center. Thankfully, X-rays came back negative.

The whole time, my grandfather, “Pops”, smiled. Unlike many older people, he remains consistently bubbly and upbeat. Thanking all the staff who helped him and maintaining a genuinely happy mood all the while.

Some might say that was the dementia.

I’d say that’s Pops.

Siege Media has five company values.

I created these after attending a helpful founder’s conference last year. They came from some instincts inside my head. Not all, if I’m being honest, came from a source I could clearly point to.

Reading this today, some have new meaning.

Positivity is functionally in my DNA. In our DNA.

I have no idea why I wrote “in our DNA” on our company value. But I did.

My grandfather lived and lives a life of positivity. I’ve known him for all 32 years of my life, and I have zero bad memories of him. In that time, he has been an extremely giving, positive role model.

I have never heard a negative word from his mouth.

My grandfather worked as the president of a bank in Modesto for most of his career. In addition, he was integral in the development of the MasterCard system in California. He was and is a giving, selfless man.

I was lucky enough to have my education paid for because of that work. Similarly, he paid for the college education of all six of his grandchildren. And he and my grandmother also donated more than a half a million to support UC Davis programs.

Meanwhile, you’d expect that the President of a bank that could pay to put six of his grandchildren though college and donate half a million to a University would live a lavish life.

My Pops did not.

My Pops and grandmother, “Grammy”, lived in modest houses throughout their lives. They travelled a bit and rarely ate out. On the surface, you would never know they had developed a significant financial base.

Instead of ego and extravagance, they cared for and raised their families.

In 32 years, I heard barely a peep about my grandfather’s career.

In my early years, I was too naive and selfish to care. Business wasn’t a thing to me then. But as I got a little older, I started asking. He never volunteered, but if you asked, he talked a bit.

Not out of embarrassment, but out of modesty.

Here was a guy that looking back, had an amazing career. MasterCard President. Bank President. College basketball player. Leader. Father.

But he never talked about it without asking… it had to be prompted. Instead, he cared about you. He asked about sports, about school, about girls. He cared about anything but himself. He didn’t talk, he listened.

And he did it with a smile.

Siege Media has another company value: “Be humble.”

I picked it because it felt right. Because having a personal office makes me feel dirty. Because I love working with people who leave ego at the door. Because extravagance takes away more than it puts back.

I never thought, “we must be humble because my grandfather was humble.”

But at 32, I realize now. Pops was a role model and a leader, after him, my own father.

Selfless, unflinching work ethic. Devotion to family and team. Success because of what it meant, not because of what it gave you.

They didn’t talk, they listened.

Humble.

My grandfather has dementia. He doesn’t recognize me.

I cried a good bit after the photo at the top of this blog post. Things were changing. My grandfather, a role model, had changed.

The events of this week make you think. I’m lucky to be 32 and have both of my grandparents. I know many without their parents.

I’m lucky to have known and know a man as amazing as Pops. I’m lucky to have had him in my life this long.

Humble. Positive. Kind. Leader.

I didn’t know it then, but he built a building for me.

He helped put me through college. He helped instill some values that I am immensely grateful for today. It takes reading our company values on digital ink to realize it.

Many likely blame their parents for the legacy they left them. What held them back. What they didn’t become because of where they started. Sadly enough, they may be right.

But on the other end, many parents and grandparents have done the reverse. They’ve built the building. Put us on first base. Made us humble. Gave us positivity. Gave us the stairs of the building to climb.

Thank you, Pops. Thank you, parents and grandparents. Thank you.

I hope to start another building one day. If I’m lucky enough, and the little ones ask, I’ll tell them about a legendary man: humble, kind, and inspiring.

Even if they don’t ask, this is a story they have to hear.

Do you have someone who built you a building? Father, mother, brother, sister, friend. Every person might have someone else who helped erect their foundation that we don’t appreciate nearly enough.

Do me a favor and thank them for that building, and then be thankful that you had the opportunity to do so.

I didn’t. But the building is there. The roof is there, and the door is open. I just never acknowledged the person who built the foundation.

Thank you, Pops. And please, for Pops, thank the person who gave you yours.