If you immigrated to the U.S. at a young age, you were probably raised to value academic achievement. And yes, at least in part, academic success brings financial stability and professional satisfaction, but what got us to value academics so disproportionately? And at what cost?
I had an atypical childhood. I was born in the Crimea right at the fall of the Soviet Union and upon my family’s arrival to the U.S. we were placed in a small refugee community in upstate New York. Everyone spoke only Russian and in addition to the food stamps the government provided, we would barter for goods, growing vegetables in the dirt behind the apartment buildings and trading up for honey, piano lessons, car repairs, and anything else that we needed.
My parents were always sticklers for good grades. I’m sure most immigrant children can relate. But what I’ve begun to remember is all the ways my family would discourage me from associating with people who did not dedicate themselves to academics.
Watching American football was a staple of the “fat American”. Fashion was how the rich manipulated poor people in spending more than they could afford. And video games were mindless time wasters that ruined your eyesight and made you dumb.
I never got into watching sports, but I still played video games and loved to go shopping. But in short, this constant overvaluing of activities that produced good grades and “cultured citizens” forced us to value other people less. If you know your parents are only going to give you love when you perform, then you begin to believe that the only people deserving of love are those who strive for the same achievements.
And in many ways it’s a survival tactic. Stick to those who earn the grades, make the money, and gain the power.
But this subconscious devaluing of people based on education and professional success contributes to so many harmful aspects of our culture. Identity politics, discrimination against individuals with differing ability, gentrification and furthering segregation, and an inability to see the forest through the trees when we discuss anything from sexual harassment to mass shootings.
Over the past few years I’ve had a difficult time believing that San Francisco is the liberal Mecca it promises to be. People justify displacing native citizens to work at companies like Uber and Facebook, anyone who’s homeless is assumed to be both mentally unstable and a nuisance, and I’ve had multiple conversations with people who believe that individuals with mental disabilities are less valuable as human beings.
As immigrants and refugees we need to lead the fight for greater empathy. Not discriminate by traits which are determined largely by class and economic opportunity.
So what can we do? Travel, volunteer, be picky about where we choose to live, and stop swiping left on Coffee Meets Bagel based on workplace or universities attended. The most interesting people you’ll ever meet are not defined by grades.