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Continuing its streak of controversial cabinet appointments, the Trump Administration selected billionaire Betsy DeVos to run the Department of Education.
This week, in her first official speech, she discussed a wide range of topics:
On Learning
“Math is an important skill that can help students better understand how the world works. For example, it takes roughly $200 million to purchase a cabinet position.”
On School Security
“Listen up you fucking bears. Don’t get anywhere near this school. We will fill you up with more lead than a goddamn Detroit drinking fountain.”
On School Prayer
“When the Jews killed Jesus, did they stop praying?”
On School Privatization
“Trust me, only idiots get government jobs. We need to put the education back in the hands of the people.”
On Students with Disabilities
“Our infallible Lord has cursed these children with hideous physical and mental deficiencies. We will think of them during our mandatory school prayer sessions.”
On LGBTQ Rights
“They have the right to remain silent. Next question.”
On Sexual Assault
“Rape is an act of unwanted sexual aggression by a non-athlete person.”
On Banning Books
“Bannon loves books! Let’s see, he has a signed copy of Mein Kampf, at least a dozen books bound in human flesh … ohhh, ‘banning books!’ My bad. Yah, I’m all for that.”
On Common Core
“We are all created in God’s image, even poor people. And some blacks.”