Anthony Scaramucci’s Guide to Professional Communications

PLEASE SHARE THESE IMPORTANT TIPS WITH STUDENTS & FACULTY.

— A.S.

1. Create a vaguely vaginal nickname.
2. Refer to yourself in the third person. That way, they’ll believe you when you threaten to murder your colleagues.
3. Threaten to murder your colleagues.
4. Cite inspirational quotes from Joe Paterno and other American heroes.
5. More than anything else, talk to the press about your co-worker’s genitalia.
6. Remember: It’s always off the record.
7. Look good.
8. When in doubt, say “cock” or some cockblasted derivation thereof.
9. Tweet your raw, unadulterated thoughts whenever the fancy strikes you.
10. Dance like no ones watching you destroy an empire.