Variable or Constant - Which one are you and why it matters?

Note, this article is not about programming. We will use examples from the software world to explore and fine-tune the way how we see ourselves in order to improve the quality of our life.

A bit of context if you’re not familiar with variables and constants:

Variables and constants are named boxes that hold values such as numbers and text.

A constant has a fixed value that can’t be changed once the constant is created:

const A = 10 //The value of the constant A is always 10

The value of A can’t be changed. If we try to change it, the computer will report an error:

const A = 10
A = 20 //ERROR: Changing constants is not allowed

As long as the constant A exists, it has the value 10. In fact, 10 and “A” are one and the same thing. Constants are useful because they let us refer to values by name instead of typing the same value in many different places in the code.

Variables, on the other hand, can hold a range of values and their value can be freely changed:

var B = 10 //The value of variable B is 10
B = 20 //The value of B is now 20
B = 40 //Now it is 40…

Variables are used for storing results of calculations, for example:

var My_bank_balance = 10000 //The variable holds the balance of our bank account…

My_bank_balance = My_bank_balance + 5000 //Yuppie! Just got 5000 added to the balance!

Now, imagine that we are looking at the code that someone else wrote, trying to figure out if A is a variable or a constant:

//do some stuff…
A = 0
…
//do more stuff
A = 1
…

How can we tell what A is?

If A is changing, it is a variable. 

That said, variables don’t have to change. But, they can if we need them to. One way to test if A is a variable is to try to change it. If that works, we have a variable.

Now that we are familiar with how variables and constants work in the software world we can use the same approach to look at ourselves and ask a question:

At first we might not even be sure where to look. There are so many attributes that contribute to our sense of who we are.

Is it changing or is it always the same?

That’s an easy one. There is always something going on in our body. Breath going in and out, the heart beating and so on… Not to mention all the different ways how our body developed since we were conceived.

Check ✓ The body is changing.

Thoughts come and go… Emotions change on momentary basis. We see colors, hear sounds… 

Check ✓ Our mind is changing.

At first glance the name feels like a constant. Perhaps we were given the name right at our birth and have kept it the same till now. But could we change the name if we wanted to? Yes, we could. Remember what we discovered about variables? It’s enough that the value can change to prove that we are dealing with a variable.

Check ✓ Our name can change.

Even if we work at the same place and do the same job for our whole life, we didn’t work there as a child and at some point we will probably retire. We also didn’t have all our skills forever. We gradually got better at what we do and continue to do so. Unless the old age is helping us to forget things.

Check ✓ Our profession and skills are changing.

We are kids to our parents; parents to our kids; friends to people that like us; annoyance to the people who don’t; just a blur to strangers who pass us on the street and so on. We play multiple roles at any given moment.

Check ✓

We can do this exercise with all aspects of our life: relationships, nationality, favorite sports teams, education, religious views, wealth, gender…

All of them are changing, or at least, can be changed.

It is obvious that we are a variable.

Now comes the surprising part:

We identify with the current value of our life so strongly, that it becomes everything we are.

Imagine that we are getting ready for a very important meeting or a date. We are super excited and confident that we will be amazing. And then we do a last check in the mirror and discover a big shiny pimple on the top of our nose.

Oh no! Suddenly we feel crushed. It doesn’t matter what we’ll say or do, everybody will just stare at the pimple, trying to pretend they don’t notice it.

The confident, amazing “me” is gone, replace by a frustrated “me” with an amazingly huge pimple!

Just like that, our sense of who we are changed.

That’s perfectly normal: we are a variable, and its value — the current sense of who we are — is changing from moment to moment, based on what is going on in our life.

But, in such emotionally charged situations, we feel that the current “me” is all we are. 

We feel like a constant.

This is surprising.

After all, we can clearly observe how we are continually changing. In fact, our whole life is a series of one change after another. 

Despite that, we often feel: this momentary version of me is all I am, period.

Let’s go back to the variables to help us illustrate this point:

Imagine a variable A that can hold any number in the world.

It is a part of some fancy computer program, holding some very important information about the state of the universe.

One nanosecond A is 23456, the next it is 89546 and so on.

But one day A bumps into another variable, gets a concussion and forgets it is a variable. Instead, A starts to believe that it is whatever value it is holding.

A = 123 //Ah… 123 feels so good. I’m great!!!
A = -2756 //Oh no… I’m negative!!!
A = 000 //I’m nothing… so boring… I want to be 123 again!

This creates a lot of stress for the poor A.

Luckily, after a while A comes back to its senses: “Wait! If I’m changing all the time, I can’t be just 123 or -2756. If I would be just 123, I could not change into any other value. I am variable! I am more than any of my values.” 

The same is true for us.

In order for us to be able to be all these different “me”s, we, as a being must be more than any one of them. 

Otherwise we would be fixed into just one version of ourselves, like a statue, not a living person. 

Do I have a pimple on my nose? Yes.
I this all I am? No, I am much more than this.

Why can A be 3? Because A is more than 3.

A and 3 are not the same. 3 is always just 3, while A can hold any number, including 3.

Why can I be “me” with a pimple nose? Because I am more than “me” with a pimple nose.

Whatever we are in this moment, it is not despite of being more than that:

I’m hungry, despite of being more than just a hungry person.
I’m a caring parent, even though as a being I am more than this.
I’m totally stressed out, although that’s not all I am.

There is no conflict between our capacity to be something and our quality of being more than that.

We can be ourselves, because we are more than that:

I can be a caring parent, because as a being I am more than this.
I can be totally stressed out, because I am more than being stressed out.
I can be happy, because that’s not all I am. 

A variable can be 1,7 or 20, because as a whole, it is more than any of these values.

I can be X, because as a being, I am more than X.

That’s opposite of how we tend to (miss)understand ourselves:

I am X. That means that I’m really X.
I’m sad, because that’s just who I am.

Our quality of being more than the sad “me”, more than the happy “me”, more than the successful “me”, more than the loser “me”, more than the whatever “me”, is what allows us to be all those “me”s in the first place.

I can be X, because I am more than X.

This is such a powerful — and realistic — outlook.

First, let’s take a look at what we normally do:

We have a tremendous capacity to identify with things, to experience from the inside, not just as observers. That’s why it’s fun to watch movies and read books. There is nothing wrong with that. Without this capacity for immersive, vivid experiences, our life would be detached and boring.

That said, by not recognizing that these vivid experiences — good and bad — are a function of this wonderful capacity, we get stuck in individual experiences, believing that each one is our whole reality. 

We lose perspective on who we are. The space where our life happens shrinks to the narrow confines of whatever the current sense of “me” is at the moment. Then we tend to overreact emotionally, like an animal trapped in a small cage.

Believing that the current “me” is all we are, gets us stuck in an endless race of trying to change it to something better or keeping it the same.

But no matter to what we manage to change our sense of who we are, we are still stuck in this narrow place of believing it is all we have. 

You might wonder, is this purely a philosophical exercise? What’s the point of exploring — and fine-tuning — our attitude towards ourselves?

Among all endeavors in life, learning to work with our emotions gives the biggest return on investment to the quality of our life.

Making our outlook on who we are more in line with reality is the best way to do that. 

Let’s go back to our pimple.

We just got shocked by the huge red shinny thing staring back at us from the mirror, about to go out on a date or important business meeting.

“Oh, no! Why now, why me??!”

We get tense and our life shrinks down to the size of the pimple.

And then we remember: “I can be ‘me with a pimple’, because I am much more than this.”

The space of our life begins to expand…

We can accept whatever we are fully, without being afraid of it, without being obsessed by it.

“Hi, pimple me! Welcome! How are you?” 

We are able to deal with whatever happens, be it good or bad, thanks to the confidence that we are much more than the current situation. We can let the pain touch us, because we know it can’t destroy us. We can enjoy happiness without grasping at it, because we know we have an endless capacity for more.

We are closer to reality and therefore understand how things work in dependence on one another. We can use some kind of skin remedy to start healing the nose. 

The space of our life continues to expand… The pimple is just one of the things in our world by now. There is enough space for everything, including whatever emotions arise: worry, frustration…

A sense of humor, lightness, brings a smile to our face. We might even crack a joke about our pimple to break the ice at the meeting:

“I was so excited to finally meet you, feeling great, and then, guess what I saw in the mirror!”

Our companion’s reaction will give us precious insight into whether we want to pursue relationship with them or not.

Everybody has problems, everyone has their own pimples… The same gentle understanding that we use on ourselves, applies to others as well.

By recognizing our own quality of being more than just what appears at the moment, we recognize it in others too. They are whatever they are, because they are more than that. This insight changes our relationships for the better.

That doesn’t mean that we suddenly get along with everyone. Our current situation might as well be incompatible with theirs. But that’s not an absolute, fixed situation. Circumstances can change.

Although we deeply dislike a person for what they are doing in the current situation, we can appreciate the capacity they hold as a living being.

The source of our motivation will change from painful motivation of having to constantly prove ourselves, to being motivated by knowing that we have so much to offer to the world.

The more we let the space of our life expand, the more it will be filled with love toward ourselves and others.

In short, the closer to reality we get, the more open and friendly the world becomes.

We need a simple formula that we can remember even in emotionally charged situations, when we need it the most:

Whatever I am at this moment,
I can fully be that,
because as a being, I am more than this.

If we are a software developer, we can remember and appreciate this quality every time we declare a variable:

var n = 0; //Oh… that’s just like me! N can be 0 because N is not really 0. I can be X because I’m more than just X!

At first, these might just be thoughts, but with time the sense of being more than the current “me” becomes a powerful, transformative feeling. The tense sense of “me” can actually becomes a friendly reminder that we are more than that.

The point is to keep the approach simple and keep applying it in daily life.

In the computer world, every variable has a capacity — a range of values it can hold.

For example, we can declare a variable that can hold values from 0 to 255. If its value is 255 and we try to increase it by one, the value gets back to 0. Whatever we do, the variable will never hold a value outside of its declared range. 

If we are a variable, what is our capacity? What is the range of experiences we can hold? What is our potential?

This is a fun question we can spend our whole lifetime exploring.

 — 

This article is an overview of the mental model that lets us cultivate more open and realistic view on who we are. Many points raised here deserve more detailed exploration. I’m playing with the idea to expand this article into a series of posts or a course. The best way to stay in touch with whatever will happen is to subscribe to my newsletter here on Substack.

A bit of background on where this ideas come from: for the last 25 years, I’ve been fascinated by the Buddhist teachings on wisdom and compassion, as presented in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. I did my best to understand these teachings and put them into practice in my daily life. In the process I tried to translate these ideas down into my “baby” language so that I could relate them to my own experience. These study notes have been useful for me, and therefore I consider them worth sharing. That said, they are presented as it is, without any claim to accurately represent the Buddhist tradition.

Thanks for reading all the way down :) Take care!

Matjaz