When the porn to information ratio of the internet took a dramatic shift a few things occurred. A small group of people found a place to voice their opinions in an anonymous environment and gained a sense of power in a chaotic world. Others were able to let the blisters on their hands heal momentarily, finally being able to browse pictures of cat’s between fap sessions.
One of the fundamental new world rhetorical fallacies is Godwin’s law which stipulates that the longer a conversation continues the more likely someone will equate the OP’s opinion with Hitler, and that when this happens the argument becomes redundant.
It seems that Hitler has become a 2.0 unit of measurement. So what exactly is a Hitler? To state simply a Hitler can be converted into a mathematical formula.
One Hitler is equal to 11 million human deaths. This is a usual unit of measurement in a post-taste world. The 1931 Chinese Floods, the worst natural disaster equates to a mere 2.5 decihitlers. The Indonesian Tsunami an astonishingly small 3.1 centihitlers. Diseases rate a lot better. Smallpox is equal to 3 decahitlers, with Measles, Malaria and Black Death equaling to 2. 2.5 and 1 decahitler respectively. In terms of human achievement Stalin and Mao are the only people who can be said to be worse than Hitler, rating 5 and 11 hitlers respectively. The September 11 attacks in contrast rate a measly 2 milihitlers and Chernobyl only rates a little better with 4 milihitlers.
Animal attacks rate even worse. The biggest killer in the world, the Champawat Tiger only rates 4.3 microhitlers.
A single human death is only 0.1 nanohitlers.
In modern Capitalist cultures the best utility of the hitler is as a monetary conversion unit.
The EPA currently values a human life as being worth 6.9 million us dollars or 6.9 megadollars, thus making 1 hitler equivalent to 41 trillion, or 41 teradollars. Thus it becomes increasingly easy to make a quantitative assessment as to whether something is “worse than hitler”. Obama’s stimulus package cost 7.8 gigadollars which is roughly 655 milihitlers. King Abdulaziz International Airport costs around 178 microhitlers. To bring that closer to home the National Broadband Network costs a tiny 6 microhitlers.
With the Hitler everything is smaller by comparison. Pirates of the Caribbean, the most expensive film of all time only cost 3 nanohitlers to produce.
So next time you’re at a nightclub and you are hit up for $15 for $3 worth of alcohol, you can confidently tell the bartender that they are currently fucking you to the tune of 12 picohitlers and ask if they have a very tiny Auschwitz behind the counter.
