There’s a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, and the one you need is at the bottom.
Directly pulling it out means disrupting the balance. They’ll fall and potentially break.
Instead you need to rinse each one starting from the top and load the dishwasher. Or at the very least, put them in a separate pile one at a time. It’s not as direct, but it’s least disruptive, and that’s effective.
Some parts of our inner world are like this stack of dishes. You can’t just directly change one thing you don’t like about yourself without risking breaking the others.
It requires an indirect method of change.