New Twin Dad — Edward Champion

5 min read Original article ↗

Why?

Being a new dad is so hard. Things change drastically from day to day, you're getting such broken sleep, and you have a whole new person to love. Being a twin dad is like x2. So I wanted to offer what little advice and reassurance I can, and hope that this helps even one new person. If you're a new dad who is struggling (I nearly had a breakdown on day 2!), please feel free to reach out. I'm always here to support someone tackling the hardest thing they'll ever do.

What?

  • Hedgehog
    • We got this, and after 15 minutes of it vibrating with music, they started tooting up a storm. Got some gassy babies? Get the hedgehog. (Twin Dads, Get 2!)
  • EGG
    • You don't want to turn on the overhead light and blind yourself, and you don't want to fumble for a lamp that only one person benefits from and is stuck in a single spot. What if you had a fun, egg-shaped light you could move around as needed? We love our egg.
  • Cart
    • Stock it up; most important stuff on top. Here's how we break it down:
      • Level 1: Diapers, Binky, Medicine, Wipes
      • Level 2: Burp cloths, Pump parts
      • Level 3: Outfits & Misc
  • Twin Z Pillow
    • Having both twins sleep on the same pillow is so precious. Our kids love ours, and it helps moms breastfeed both at once and support them. 10/10 must-have. We took ours on a road trip from Colorado to Louisiana, and it was so indispensable.
  • Headphones
    • I needed to hear this one sooner. Having both kids pop off for an hour straight will tear you apart. DON'T SHAKE THE BABY. LISTEN TO CALMING PIANO MUSIC. Over-the-ear preferred.
  • Baby Merlin's Magic Sleep Suits
    • Once you graduate from swaddles, these are a way to keep your baby contained and help them sleep easier. Get them on (ew) Facebook Marketplace instead of brand new to save some $$$.
  • SwaddleMe Velcro Swaddles
    • Our babies always escaped from cloth swaddles, even in the NICU. Start by asking for these swaddles at the baby shower; they'll save you time and hassle.
  • Bulb & Nose Suction
    • Maybe it's just us being near the Rockies, but our babies have noses that need clearing out sometimes multiple times a day. Also, a bulb syringe saved my daughter's life, so we swear by them and keep them in every room.

Advice (Twin + Non-Twin Dads Welcome!)

I don't know if I'm qualified to give any kind of advice. I've done this once and I have no prior experience, but I'm being honest and open about what this experience seems like a start. Being a new dad is hard. Our kids were in the NICU for two weeks before they could come home on oxygen, so I have a very subjective experience.

Before any babies come, make your room a place of tranquility. Set up a way to watch TV in bed and make sure there's room for the double bassinet. Get the aforementioned cart set up; it's where your partner will recover.

You're going to be so scared, it's going to be so hard, and you're going to sleep so little! Know that your partner has done all of the work up until now, so now's your chance. Change the first diaper after delivery if possible, but if it's the NICU, chat with the nurses to figure out the lay of the land and what all the monitors mean. The NICU can be very scary, but the nurses there are so wise, kind, and patient. Those nights are going to be hard, and you're not going to want to go home.

Once you're home, become a wizard at bottle and breast pump cleanup. For us, we found it helpful to get at least 10 bottles (5 pre-made each) so that you can go for ~15 hours before needing a full clean. That will take some stress off your partner as you both navigate it.

Here's some quick advice!

  1. Embrace Marketplace - getting leftover diapers will save you so much money.
  2. Reach out for support - Don't be afraid to loop in as many friends as possible. I wish I had done more of it, or had a stronger group thread going.
  3. Take care of yourself - you're going to be tired and experiencing a new wave of emotions.
  4. Look after your partner - their hormones are in such flux, and they feel this compulsion they can't explain to take care of a child.
  5. It gets remarkably better mentally when they start smiling - around 2 months. It will make it so, so much easier.

When to double up

Double up on things when (especially if you have multiple floors) you don't want to go grab it for bedtime and it gets taken to the living room for naps. Think of things that help babies sleep or that you know you'll need overnight—like the Hedgehog or Bulb Syringe. However, we only need one egg since it just stayed in our bedroom. The broad classification is "Things that are needed for both daytime naps and bedroom sleeping." You don't need two Twin Zs.

[fin]

Please reach out if you're a new dad and having a hard time. My email is [email protected]. Being a new dad is so scary and intimidating, but also the most rewarding thing you will EVER do in your life if you put in the effort.