I’m honestly quite stunned how such a slam dunk of a feature has become a Herculean effort of epic proportions. It’s an API call, not a skunkworks moonshot. We’ve built a 10 billion dollar space telescope in less time. How long has the conversation been going on? Let’s take a look together…
Six years ago, the brain trust at Mozilla decided that their average users intellect was sharp enough to choose a web browser, but a touch too dull to decide if websites should have full clipboard access. The guards hold firm for another two years, allowing minimal access while renewing their vow to never let their dopey flock be tricked into complete self destruction. Wow!
It’s sort of incredible if you stop to appreciate the impact of inaction. A global pandemic has circumnavigated Earth thrice in as many years. Empires have risen and returned to dust. And now in 2024, the software industry forages for answers in the ashes of a zero interest rate economy.
Is it really fair to blame all of this on a single brood of stubborn and unflappable butterflies? I’ve got a better one for you: Why would you presume fair treatment from a “non-profit” that has a documented history of using your donation money to do everything but build the gosh damn browser?
There’s nothing wrong with pinning all of the bad things in the world on them because of a simple fact: Mozilla’s leadership holds your heart in contempt. The C-Suite and development teams do not prioritize what’s best for Firefox, your privacy, or anything else other than you sending them more money.
Despite everything and anything, it’s important to put this half decade into perspective. Over a billion human lives have joined our planet, their formative years shaped by rapid technological advancements once exclusive to the future fantasies of only the most implausible science fiction novels.
Indoor plumbing, Greek fire, MRNA vaccines, global satellite internet, LLM artificial intelligence. These are just a select few of the mundane miracles that stand in comparison to our greatest achievement: Asynchronous clipboard APIs. Sometimes all you need is hope and a little bit of faith!
But sadly there are at least an odd several hundred some people trapped in an inescapable realm beyond hope’s grasp. It’s called Mozilla’s pocket and it’s a dank, damp pit. Words fail to describe just how dark and sweaty are the conditions of this sour swamp for those unfortunate, wretched, coffin warmers. These are a motley bunch with a common desire for compromise and sloppy delegation. All their hopes and dreams, embedded into Firefox like the barnacles of a beached whale on a hot Summer’s day.
It’s a heart wrenching tale and they don’t want to hear it. “How dare you compare my choice of web browser to living in a decaying corpse!” they cry, “Sure, Firefox has some issues and I’d love it if Mozilla could get it together, but if I won’t use Firefox then who will?”
Do you even hear yourself? Look in the mirror and say this out loud: “Mozilla decides what’s best for me. I’ll settle for whatever they decide I’m smart enough to handle.” Doesn’t feel so good, huh? Now I want you use some of that self-respect and take control of your life again. They don’t care about you. Move on, please.
Really though, what’s truly gross is how the remaining Firefox holdouts act like they’re proselytizing freedom, when it’s more like begging for scraps from a corporation that’s gobbled up more than two decades
of multi-million dollar partnerships. Firefox’s most credible threat and direct competition is also bankrolling its leadership! In plain sight. That’s how dumb they think we are. And after all that we’re told keep donating…only target the features that Mozilla deems safe. This isn’t it freedom — It’s just subjugation with extra steps!
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Now you listen to me, and you listen good. Posting in this thread year after year, asking when the feature will finally get merged — I’ve got some news for you. You’re acting like a clown. And since I had the genius to leave thread notifications on for the past four years, that would make me the ringleader of this circus. Maybe Mozilla was right! Some people really need to be told what to do…
If you’re a maintainer, it takes about two hours to add the feature. Less with caffeine and prescription stimulants. It’s most definitely easier than it was to read this thread.
Everyone else stuffed in this cramped little car, fork the repo and do not send a pull request. Leave this place and never return. Install a different browser. Take a vitamin. Try a different salad dressing while you still have time.
All that matters is that person who’s reading this finds the courage to stand up for themselves and stop letting other people decide what’s best for them. Why? Obviously, because I said so!
Now get to work! 👏 👏