Most Saturday nights, I have a ritual. I order chinese food and watch a movie I’ve never seen before.
But it’s 2021, so the way I go about it is a little crazy. Bear with me.
It all starts with my phone.
I tap the green phone app to place a call. I scroll to the Ys and select Yummy 88.
How’d I get their number? They print it on their menus and their awning. I copied it into my phone.
So, I call them. It rings. They pick up.
“Yummy 88, How can I help you?”
“Hi, I’d like an order for pick up”
“What do you want?”
“1 egg roll, 1 small hot and sour soup and a small pork lo mein”
“Ok, 10 minutes.”
“Ok thanks. Bye”
“Bye”.
I put on my headphones, put on my jacket of season and head out.
Yummy 88 isn’t the closest chinese place to me. That would be China Garden. But their food is better and I like the longer walk. I actually really really like the longer walk. I always listen to a podcast on this walk. This walk is part of the ritual.
I arrive at Yummy 88. Delivery guys hanging in and outside the place. I walk up to the counter. I make a phone with my hand and put it to my face. I mouth “I called on the phone” to let them know I’m the one that called on the phone.
Sometimes my food is ready, sometimes I have to wait 5 minutes. I listen to my podcast. This is part of the ritual.
The meal costs $11.98. The same meal costs $21.21 on Grubhub. $21.89 on Doordash. And $22.38 on Uber Eats.
I pay the $11.98. In cash. I have the money. Then they have the money. All of the money.
This next part is great. The food comes in a stapled brown bag placed inside a white plastic bag with a smiley face on it. I spin the bag, twisting the arms of the plastic to tighten it around the paper. I think this seal will mitigate heat loss, but I don’t actually know.
Then, in an excited state, I whisk the food home hoping to keep it as warm as I can, looking forward to the movie, still listening to that podcast. This is part of the ritual.
I arrive home. I set the food and start the movie. And although eating an egg roll dipped in hot and sour soup while watching an expository scene is one of the greater joys in life, it’s the procurement of the food that is the real joy. The ritual ends as soon as I walk through the door.