Let’s Buy California from Trump – Denmark’s Next Big Adventure
Have you ever looked at a map and thought, "You know what Denmark needs? More sunshine, palm trees, and roller skates." Well, we have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make that dream a reality.
Let’s buy California from Donald Trump!
Yes, you heard that right.
California could be ours, and we need your help to make it happen.
By sharing this campaign with your friends, you’re helping us:
- Spread the Laughter: Let’s show the world Denmark’s sense of humor and ambition.
- Build Momentum: The more people who join, the closer we get to making this wild dream a reality.
- Create History: Imagine telling your grandkids you helped Denmark claim California. Legendary.
So hit that share button and let’s turn this into the most talked-about campaign of the year! Together, we can make Denmark the land of sunshine, palm trees, and endless possibilities. 🌴
- Sunshine Galore: Let’s face it, Denmark’s weather is… well, let’s just say it’s cozy. California has 300 days of sunshine a year. Imagine swapping your rain boots for flip-flops!
- Tech Dominance: Gaining an extra bunch of Tech bros? Great! It is what every democracy needs.
- Avocado Toast Forever: California grows 90% of the U.S.’s avocados. That’s right – we’ll never run out of avocado toast.
- To protect the free world: Most people say we have the best freedom. Colossal freedom.
- Disneyland: We’ll rename it Hans Christian Andersenland. Mickey Mouse in a Viking helmet? Yes, please.
Why Trump Might Sell
Let’s be honest – Trump isn’t exactly California’s biggest fan. He’s called it "the most ruined state in the Union" and has feuded with its leaders for years. We’re pretty sure he’d be willing to part with it for the right price.
And hey, we’ll even throw in a Peace Prize and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries to sweeten the deal.
As for the will of the citizens? Well, let’s face it – when has that ever stopped him? If Trump wants to sell California, he’ll sell California.
The Tremendous Plan
- Crowdfunding Goal of $1 trillion (give or take a few billion). That’s just 200,000 kroner from every Dane. Skip a few lattes, and you’re golden.
- We’ll send our bestest negotiators – Lego executives and the cast of Borgen.
- It is in the national interest to promote the extraordinary heritage of our Nation, so California will become New Denmark. Los Angeles? More like Løs Ångeles.
- Danish Values: We’ll bring hygge to Hollywood, bike lanes to Beverly Hills, and organic smørrebrød to every street corner. Rule of law, universal health care and fact based politics might apply.
Perks for Donors
Something more to sweeten the deal?
10 DKK
A personalized thank-you note from the Danish royal family (okay, maybe just a postcard).
100 DKK
A virtual tour of the new Danishwood studios.
1,000 DKK
A lifetime supply of California-grown avocados (shipping not included).
10,000 DKK
Your name on a street sign in New Denmark.
1,000,000 DKK
Your own private beach in Malibu (terms and conditions apply)
Our imaginary supporters have nice things to say about us
Or they will, once they taste a drop of our salty salty licorice campaign
Hans Christian Andersen
Author
Once upon a time, there was a little mermaid who dreamed of sunny shores and palm trees. Now, Denmark can make that dream come true – let’s buy California and give her a new home!
Viggo Mortensen
Aragorn in Lord of the Rings
I may have been born in New York, but my heart is Danish. Let’s bring a little Middle-earth magic to California and make it New Denmark!
Margrethe III
Queen
We need a place for our swedish neighbours to store their smelly food, California is far enough
Lars Ulrich
Metallica
I left Denmark for California to chase the rock ‘n’ roll dream. But now, we can bring California to Denmark. Let’s make it happen – and maybe I’ll finally get a Danish Grammy!
Bjørn A. Nonymous
Philosopher
Hygge is not just a feeling; it’s a way of life. And what could be more hyggelig than sipping cocoa on a California beach, watching the sunset over the Pacific? Let’s buy California and spread the joy of hygge!
Karen
from Accounting
I’ve crunched the numbers, and buying California makes perfect sense. Sure, it’s a trillion kroner, but have you seen the price of avocado toast in Copenhagen? This is an investment in our future!
Sven
the Viking
My ancestors sailed the seas in search of new lands. Now, we can conquer California without lifting a sword – just our wallets. Skål to New Denmark!
From Hygge to Hollywood – Let’s Make California Danish!
So, what do you say, Denmark?
Let’s make history and buy California. Together, we can bring a little bit of Danish magic to the Golden State – and maybe even teach them how to pronounce "rødgrød med fløde."
Sign now, and let’s make New Denmark a reality!