It’s 1996.
Chevy introduces OnStar, a telematics system that transmits your vehicle’s location to Chevy and remotely receives commands.
- This is an amazing feature! Stolen cars can be tracked now. You can just call Chevy to unlock your doors if you left your keys inside.
- Hmm. Kinda gives big brother energy. A few privacy advocates complain, but nobody cares. It’s now standard on all cars.
It’s 2010.
Nearly every new vehicle has ditched the standardized single/double-din replaceable stereo system with a fully integrated head unit. Your ability to go to Best Buy and buy a radio for your new car is gone, just like that.
- Yeah lol, kinda sad. But we got Apple Car Play now! Your phone on the big touchscreen is so cool and useful. Way better than the physical buttons and dials we had in the past.
It’s 2015.
Car parts are starting to become VIN-locked. This means you can’t swap in scrapyard parts anymore. A transmission will have a computer glued to it that physically prevents shifting if it doesn’t match VIN numbers with the ECU.
- Remember when you could do an automatic -> manual swap? Yeah, that’s practically impossible on new cars.
- It’s for your safety though! Automakers don’t want you doing any unauthorized repairs that could be dangerous. You should bring your car to a dealership repair shop instead.
- Need to disable a warning on the dash? No worries, we just plug in this little USB tool and press two buttons. That’ll be $1500.
It’s 2023.
Automakers don’t even care anymore. Here’s a subscription for the seat warmers. Here’s a mandatory software update at 6am right before your commute. Oh yeah and they also replaced all the mechanical links with electronics. Electronic pedals, steer-by-wire, gear shift buttons. You’re driving a computer, not a car.
- Hmm. What if the CIA doesn’t like me and has complete access over my steering/drivetrain through a backdoor?
- Look at the cybertruck turning radius though! That’s real progress. A steering column could never.
- Full self driving is here! You should try it and become dependent on it. It’s safer than a human!
- No LOL you can’t buy it or own it. It’s $99 a month to activate the hardware you paid for.
- Download the app and get remote start and unlock from anywhere in the world! It’s only $16/mo for the full plan.
- The future is here! So exciting!
It’s 2026.
The government is mandating anti-drunk driving detection technology.1 Your car will stop itself if it thinks you’re drunk. Or the government can just remotely shut down your car.
- Hmm. What if I need to swerve around some potholes. Will the software report me?
- What if I want to get blasted with my buddies and run a car into the ground on my ranch?
- It’s for the greater good though! Congress is willing to forgo a few of your freedoms to help protect the children.
LOL :) and even if you drive an old car, we installed a trillion cameras everywhere so the CIA can see everywhere you go. Or so we can just watch you in general.
It’s 2030.
- No you can’t drive your car, you have to use our proprietary self driving technology.
- You need to pay for premium to disable the ads.
- No, the car can’t drive you there, that’s off limits. It’s for your safety.
- If you disobey our lawful orders, the car doors lock shut and it drives you straight to the police station.
Technological progress is amazing! It’s great everything is more centralized and unified, it’s way better for the consumer and the economy. We may be sacrificing a few niche freedoms but it’s safer this way, and that’s really what matters.
The critics really don’t understand that technology is fundamentally good and we need to accelerate it to achieve prosperity and happiness. Progress is so exciting! Lets accelerate harder!
Hey, what’s this new thing?
It’s 2023.
Here’s ChatGPT! It’s a fun AI chatbot. Might be a nice Google alternative and can maybe help you with your english homework.
It’s 2024.
AI can help you do your job! Rewrite emails, make plans, do the boring stuff.
It’s 2025.
AI can do most of your job! You just sit back and keep typing “polish more, make no mistakes” until the output seems to be good enough. If the thing sucks now then AGI will fix it in the future.
It’s 2026.
You’re fired or promoted to AI agent conductor. No, don’t read the code it generates! Don’t debug it either. Just fire up another agent session.
- Forget about learning lol, knowledge is useless. Just trust your agents and always upgrade to frontier model.
- The more dependent you are on AI, the better. You don’t want to fall behind, do you?
It’s 2030.
- Want to get a job? All companies now require canidates to have the AI brain implant.
- The AI brain implant makes you 100x smarter and 100x more intellegent! We’ll never go back to hiring unmodified humans.
- “Sorry Jim, without the brain chip you aren’t useful to the new world. Cyborg humans are 1000x more productive and never make mistakes. It’s much safer this way.”
- However, you can sell your autonomy to the corporation and receive the AI brain implant for free, as long as you consent to thought control. :)
Escape the permanent underclass for free! Or you can just stay in the amish village making chairs for the rest of your life.
But you don’t want to be left behind, do you?