It’s interesting that knowing what was going on behind the curtain, I still wasn’t able to control my usage.”
Tim Kendall, Former Facebook Executive
Since I started researching how to break social media addiction, I noticed that there are mainly two lines of approach:
Content blockers: software that blocks users from accessing distracting websites
Behavior-change interventions: usually based on self-therapy, they teach users how to change their behavior around addictive technology.
Personally, I am a big fan of the latter strategy. Dumbing down your devices can work, but increasing your capacity to resist distractions seems like the more robust option.
In particular, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is showing a lot of promise.
CBT proposes that people have automatic negative thoughts or cognitive distortions that lead to negative emotions and problematic behaviors. These cognitive distortions are flawed ways of thinking that are not based on reality, but rather on our perceptions and interpretations of reality.
By identifying our own unhealthy distortions, and replacing them with true and more helpful beliefs, we change our behavior. Here are eight that you might have:
Fear of missing out (FOMO)
“If I am not always up-to-date on what’s happening, I might miss out on something important”
The thought that you might be missing out on important information, experiences, decisions… This can lead to not being able to ever silence notifications; checking your phone as the last thing before bed and the first thing when you wake up.
Expectation of availability
“I should always reply to messages as soon as I receive them”
The belief that you should always be available. You always respond to messages and emails as soon as they arrive, things that feel urgent take priority over long-term projects
Catastrophizing
“My mom didn’t pick up the phone. Did something bad happen to her?”
The tendency to jump to the worst possible conclusions. You worry about things that are unlikely to have happened.
Choice-supportive bias
“I spend hours on social media, therefore it must mean that I enjoy it”
You craft a belief to justify your actions. In the example above, you do not realize that craving something and liking something are not the same.
Unfair comparison
"Everyone else's life seems so much more exciting than mine. They are all taking vacations, while I am here working”
The comparison of your life to other people’s highlight reel. It reduces your self-esteem and makes you think that there is something wrong with you.
Availability heuristic
“She look so joyful in this picture. She must live a happy life”
The belief that the limited information you have about a person is an accurate representation of their life.
Questionable cause
“I go on the internet when I am tired, therefore social media must be good at restoring my energy levels”
In this example, the belief that social media is good for dealing with tiredness, instead of believing that resisting social media is harder when we are tired.
Emotional reasoning
“This post about them hanging out makes me feel lonely. If I feel lonely, it must mean that nobody wants to be around me”
The belief that your emotions are factual representations of the world. If you feel a certain way, then you believe that it must be true, even if there is little or no evidence.
I have created the a three-step comprehensive guide on how to reduce screen time. In the first module, you will learn how to challenge and replace the above-mentioned biases and other ways you can use cognitive behavioral theories to be more intentional with your time. Consider becoming a paid subscriber to get full access to the guide.