The Cyber Doctor
Runs the Clinic (into the ground).
Bureaucratic nonsense for online nonsense
CTD Clinic is fake medical paperwork for transmissible internet stupidity.
The clinic assigns memorable labels to online behavior people already regret.
On shift today
Please direct all symptoms, suspicions, and regrettable clicks to the desk.
Featured cases
Sendable names show up faster than policy language, which is the entire point of the paperwork.
Chronic Memory-borne
Patient refuses to release the password.
Emotionally dependent on one password and smiling through breach exposure.
Highly Sendable Link-borne
Clicks first, develops opinions about URLs later.
Feels chemistry with any blue underlined thing that arrives uninvited.
Confidently Scannable Square-borne
Scans mystery squares with the confidence of a lab volunteer.
Believes every monochrome box is a public service announcement.
Needs a Grown-Up Boss-borne
Sudden obedience triggered by executive punctuation and fake urgency.
Develops immediately after a message says the boss needs this handled quietly.
Helpfully Infected Code-borne
Patient whispered six sacred digits to a stranger.
Feels strangely helpful the moment a fake support person asks for a one-time code.
Terminally Obvious Invoice-borne
An invoice arrived and your skepticism immediately took lunch.
Produces expensive generosity toward strangers with polished email signatures.
Bring CTD Clinic to your company
The name does the heavy lifting. The fake bureaucracy does the rest.
Browse the cases, read the manifesto, and issue a diagnosis the next time someone catches something obviously transmissible.