When I asked, the VPE said it’s been a while since he got feedback. When I asked how he handled the last few times it happened, I understood why. When you blow it, you jeopardize how often you’ll get feedback (if any) and in what form.
Precious Yet Wasted
Feedback is precious, yet too often we handle it in a way that wastes it. Dismissing someone’s complaint too easily? Attacking them? Promising to do something and never getting to it? These are all perfect ways to make sure no one will bother talking to you again.
We sometimes have knee-jerk reactions that ruin things, or we just don’t understand how to utilize the input we’re given properly. Like net-positive mistakes, our intention is to squeeze the feedback lemon for all it’s worth and get everything we can out of it. Let’s make the most of the feedback you get.
No feedback?
We’re assuming you’re already receiving feedback. I know that’s not a given, and sometimes we need to work on soliciting feedback and chutzpah from your reports, colleagues, or even your boss.
The Feedback-Squeezing Protocol
Here are some questions that I suggest asking yourself when you receive feedback from anyone. It’s a handy checklist that I like going through with my clients, and often we discover at least one nugget of value that went unnoticed.
Is it true?
The very basic step is to avoid dismissing things without giving them enough thought. Assess what you’ve been told, and check whether it really is as described. Sometimes, you might find it tough to admit that the issue really exists. While an external point of view might help, taking a second to pose yourself a few questions and trying to play devil’s advocate can help achieve some insights.
If it’s really as described, that should guide you in ensuring that the issue will be addressed. Fix it.
Did you realize it too late?
An important part of maximizing learning is thinking about issues and the gap between when people first noticed and when you found out about it. Did the person that give you the feedback “sit on it” for a while? What was holding them from talking to you?
For example, I’ve seen many companies where people would wait “to be asked” or let an issue grow until the routine sync call happens once every X weeks. When that wait doesn’t make sense, you should address it and understand what’s “misconfigured” in your org’s culture.
Were you expecting to hear about it from someone/someplace else?
Regardless of who actually gave you the feedback, were you counting on receiving that information through other means earlier? Like finding that piece of parsley between your teeth only on the elevator as you leave the event when you trusted one of your friends to let you know earlier.
Maybe you hear about something from your direct report, for example, but would have expected a peer or your CEO to give you that feedback themselves. Or perhaps you thought that you had a system or a process in place to monitor the situation. Whatever the case, this is your opportunity to consider why the dogs didn’t bark.
Is it wrong?
The opposite case of one of the previous items on this checklist requires addressing nevertheless. If someone told you something that’s wrong, it might indicate that you’re doing something wrong. Are you not communicating enough or clearly? How did they get that impression? What can you do so they don’t feel like that?
This is especially relevant in cases where you get feedback from peers or your boss, and you realize that they’re not seeing the situation as you do. Rather than trying to evade the criticism, understand what your part was in making them feel like that.
Is it misdirected?
Perhaps the feedback itself describes a real issue, but you’re not the right person to address it to. Your instinct might be to dismiss it (which we’ve said you shouldn’t, remember?) or to swoop in and handle the issue. Before doing that, as part of getting everything we can out of feedback, I want you to consider why it was directed at you.
Sometimes, it indicates that things are unclear about where responsibilities lie in the company. Other times, it is a symptom of poor communication skills and teams using their leaders as crutches. You might be fully content to perform as that crutch and relay messages (which I’d recommend against in most cases), but at least do so consciously.
How to maximize chances they’ll give you feedback again?
No matter whether you end up acting on the feedback or not, redirecting them to someone else or handling it yourself, you should also consider the feedback-giving experience. What language do you use to make them feel appreciated and encourage them to do the same the next time? You can turn it into an experience they’d rather avoid, or into a regular occurrence.
How to maximize chances others will give you feedback?
Lastly, aim to leverage this nugget of feedback to generate even more. We cannot always share feedback given to us with others in the organization, but when we can, it works to encourage this behavior. When you let it be known that someone gave you feedback, you normalize it in the org. When they see how you accepted it, handled it, and thanked the person who gave it, you make it safe for them to do the same. Perhaps they’d even get a bit jealous and become more attentive to finding good feedback to share as well.
Going through these questions will ensure that you will be the exact opposite of that echo-chambered VPE we started with. For an in-depth walkthrough of the Feedback Skeleton and more, check out The Tech Executive Operating System. And if you need someone external to give you some feedback, reach out.