Last weekend many of us lost someone that was very special to us. She impacted and touched all of our lives in different ways. All I have been able to think about these last 48 hours is why does life work like this? Why does an honest, loving, wonderful human being get taken away from us so soon? Why does her husband have to feel such deep pain and sorrow? Why are all of us sitting in our homes crying and questioning the way life works? It all doesn’t seem fair. I don’t think this will ever make sense but what I learned early on in my life is that you have to keep that persons memory alive. You have to constantly tell stories about them and always remember the life they lived. I learned some valuable lessons these last few days that I had to write down so I would never forget them. I will also never forget Maria Lopez.
Live Life to its Fullest
Too often we go through life on autopilot. We continuously go through the motions but we aren’t really present. It’s easy to get into a zombie like routine where you wake up, go to the gym, go to work, get home and eat some dinner, maybe work some more, go to bed and then do the same thing all over again the next day.
I believe it’s important to step back and enjoy life. It doesn’t even have to be about the big grand things in life. It’s the little things that count. Last week my boyfriend, Corey Donohoe bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers before he left on his business trip to Europe. They are on my nightstand and they make me smile when I wake up every morning because I know I am loved. Yesterday morning I couldn’t sleep so I took my dogs to the park and watched the sunrise over San Francisco. It took my breath away. It’s the sights, smells and sounds that surround us. It’s how we feel when we can make someone smile at our stupid joke. It’s a hug you give someone when they are having a rough day. My task for you today is to slow down and enjoy your day. Savor things like your kid jumping on your bed, the raindrops on your face, or the delicious dinner your significant other is cooking.
There are some things I want to make an effort to do more of. I want to travel and explore the world more. I want to hangout with the people I care about constantly. I want to make more time for myself and do a better job of taking care of myself which might mean shutting off all my gadgets on a Saturday and curling up on the couch with a good book or going for a long run in Golden Gate Park with friends. I want to do a better job of telling my loved ones that I care about them deeply. I want to laugh, smile and chillax more often.
Enjoy Every Moment Like it was Your Last
I see this a lot with myself and with my friends. We are constantly in a hurry to get to the next step. When I was in high school I couldn’t wait to go to college. When I was in college I couldn’t wait to graduate and to become an adult. When I became an adult it became oh shit I should start thinking about my career and the type of person I want to be in 30 years. After that starts the pressure making sure you find a suitable husband and of course you can’t forget about kids. Holy shit that is stressful and no fun.
I learned a valuable lesson from my friend Maria. She enjoyed life and never seemed to be rushing to the next step. She was too busy enjoying each day. She was too busy planning her next dinner party where she would cook a gourmet meal for her friends. She was too busy visiting her parent’s vineyard and drinking delicious wine. I learned from her that you should enjoy every moment and don’t be in such a hurry to get to the next step in your life whether it’s to get married, to have a kid, to find the next job, to live in another country. What are your plans tomorrow or next weekend? Focus on that.
Love Without Limits
I spoke to my friend’s husband last night. He kept saying there was so much more he wanted to give her and do for her. It shocked me because he gave her the most wonderful gift in the world. He showed her and let her know what true love feels like. She died knowing this amazing man loved her more than life itself. Some people spend their entire lives searching for that type of love and some sadly don’t find it. I think all of us should try to love like that. Give love a chance and don’t be afraid to get hurt. Love also isn’t limited to a significant other. Make sure you love your family and your friends unconditionally and unselfishly. Tell them more often how much you love them and how much they mean to you. I know I’m going to.
Last night some of my favorite people on earth gathered at our friend Kyle Neath’s house. We sat around his kitchen table and talked for hours while drinking copious amounts of wine. Every once in a while there was absolute silence because we were all lost in our thoughts but after a few moments we hugged each other, cried an bit and then started talking again. I looked around the room last night and realized this is exactly what Maria would have wanted. She would have wanted people to be happy, to be surrounded by good friends, to be drinking lots of wine and eating delicious appetizers. I want to thank Melissa, Alex, Zach, Aman, Brent and Kyle for their hugs and love last night.
I feel very lucky and blessed to have such an amazing group friends. They are my crazy extended family and I know we will be in each others lives for a very long time.
- Jana