Everything Is My Fault
sive.rsOwning it is a great way to go, but has its own problems.
As you say, if you've been prone to externalising everything then suddenly it's a wonderful release. It's empowering to realise you have more agency and influence than maybe you thought.
Jocko Willink's outlook of "extreme ownership" is something that resonates with me.
But beware omnipotence, or worse solipsism. The opposite extreme, of believing that you're the only one who is truly responsible, is a dangerous pathology too.
Somewhere in the middle ground is the idea that it's all about interpersonal interactions; certain people, who make certain kinds of choices and hold certain world-views, are to be engaged with or avoided. It's not that they or you have faults, it's just you shouldn't hang out because your relational compatibility is wrong.
Exactly this. « Everything is my fault » is a very self-toxic take.
Every interaction is a relation between two people AND the environment (multiple other people, things, events, life) in which they are.
Everyone has some agency and then, everyone does not control everything (even sometimes anything actually) either, depending on their environment and their history.
This is a really good blog post. Wow.