The Parents Are Not All Right
gen.medium.comI actually disagree with this part: "The particular struggle reflects the most privileged perspective — that of two fully employed adults, sharing the burden, without fear of losing our jobs."
While this is hardly an unenviable position, and may be better off than most, I don't think two people who need to work full time represents the most "privileged" position. In this case, a family with a stable and sufficient income from a single primary earner, with the other free to handle the sudden increase in demands of child care, really would be a better position.
"But it’s precisely the privilege of this vantage point that in a way makes it so stark. This is the best-case scenario?"
No, this isn't the best case scenario. It's hardly the worst, but the difficulties here are absolutely the result of the two income trap. I don't know their exact situation, but plenty of middle class people would face eviction or foreclosure within 6-12 months, maybe less, if either spouse lost their job and couldn't find another. There isn't much wiggle room left.
I’m Fortunately in this position. My spouse is on full time should care. We’re not wealthy but I make enough that we can live happily this way and our choice is that this is worth the reduction in income from my spouse working outside the house.
Even so, this is REALLY hard. I can’t even comprehend the feelings of those less fortunate.
This is well put. But of course it will end, and us privileged few will go back to our regular routines and our babysitters will return to work and take care of our kids after school and we'll adjust and the kids will be fine.
The longer it goes on, the more chance there is that this novel pain shared by us lucky few will motivate some structural changes that will make life more bearable for the less privileged people for whom these kinds of tensions and juggling are nothing new.
But... I doubt it. Nothing is working. My wife's 12 person company is struggling, and will probably fail, to get a PPP loan for utterly moronic procedural reasons and saturation of the system. Extended unemployment benefits seem to have been calculated to run out around the time that the average person will be able to file a claim. Businesses are evaporating everywhere, completely undermining the bedrock of the economy. There is no sense of anything from government (any part of it) other than getting back to business as usual - why? So we can do this again in the fall? In a few years' time when another displaced wild animal spits on a market trader?
Couldn't two trillion dollars - not even a once per generation level of expenditure - have been more effectively employed to build some resilience in the system?
The city is sacked by barbarians; they leave, and the survivors hold a feast instead of building a wall.
It would be easier if families stopped the rat race and stopped sending two parents to careers. career minded people could pair up with home-minded people instead of striving for dual incomes. In good times those home minded people could use their free time to be pillars of the community.
Apart from the raw matter of money, there was motivation for women to get into the job market perhaps fifty years ago. In part this was a desire for autonomy, in part it was likely a reaction to the increasing divorce rates in the 1960s and 1970s; there was less sense of security in stepping out of the job market for any length of time.
Good luck paying for a family on a single income. What planet do you live on?
It's doable. Wife and I have done it for literally 23 years. With 4 kids.
Granted, after year 3 (and kid 2) I was making entry level developer money, but here in the south 18 years ago that was a long way from FU money. We made sacrifices and decided that some things were more important than others. Our vacations were camp outs, our four kids wore secondhand (and third/fourth hand) clothes. I bought (and still buy) most of my clothes from Goodwill or Walmart. We have never had the newest anything. There was a period of about two years where we were a single car family.
It's doable. You will have to lower your standard of consumption, probably a lot, but in our case it was totally the better choice. YMMV.
Leaving work for childcare is currently a valid reason to go on unemployment. They should try to work this out with one of their employers. They could each go down to 50% time and pay and be supplemented by unemployment currently. There is a lot of flexibility they aren't taking advantage of and then complaining about how hard it is.
Their jobs may be important, though. It's a privilege to have a stable and meaningful job, but it's also important to do it.
Just like the supply chain the family structure has shifted to a a just in time no margin system with child care outsourced to the most efficient location. When the childcare system gets taken offline there isn’t enough capacity to handle work and childcare and rent something is going to get dropped
Article is spot on. After a few weeks we broke quarenteen and flew to stay with the grandparents. We are lucky the grandparents are youngish and able to help.
The absolute narcissism of people like this amazes me.
Other people must subside her lifestyle, because?
Issues like lack of health insurance, lack of sick and parental leave, and the school day ending at 3pm when work ends at 5 or 6pm are common problems that many families deal with on a daily basis. These are a result of policy choices. It affects single people (single people get sick too), families with 2 working adults (not all jobs have health insurance, who can take early off of work everyday to pick up the kids, one adult may require care taking at some point in their life), families with 1 working adult (if the insurance provider loses their job that can jeapordize health insurance for the entire family).
I don't see how discussing these issues is "narcissistic". Aligning the school day with typical work hours seems like a reasonable policy change and ensuring the people can afford healthcare aren't just whimsical lifestyle choices.
It's a sickness of society to treat young people as "lifestyle" (or possessions, or hobbies) of their parents. If we think of them as people in their own right, then the argument for providing them with education, social support etc makes more sense. It helps to think of your own childhood. When you were were younger you benefited from the wealth of your parents, the structure of your society and the goodwill of other people. Those things have been eroded over time and young people today have less support then they had 20-30 years ago, and much less than they had 50-60 years ago. When a crisis like this happens, they too are going to suffer. This is a defining event for their generation even more than it is for working adults.